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Posts Tagged ‘spotlight’
 

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Allan's Perspective

Ted is still O.K. folks!

Posted October 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: With all the bad stuff going on in the world we thought you might like a little happy news! You might remember the voice of a once-homeless man named Ted Williams. He hit the media spotlight three years ago and became known as the man with the golden voice. ‘When you’re listening to […]

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Asshole of the Day # 86

Posted October 21, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

OK folks, here’s our “Asshole of the Day,” and a tip for would-be home invaders! You might want to consider attempting to break in via a window or a door … instead of, say, the chimney. Authorities say that’s the route Genoveva Nunez-Figueroa decided to take early yesterday in Thousand Oaks, Calif., and things went […]

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Ya had to be there!

Posted October 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Apparently there are some lines even I wouldn’t cross! I saw an article about a spider in the news today! (And it did NOT look like this one!) This thing was in the rain-forest of South America, and was at least a foot across, and it wasn’t one of those skinny things that are all […]

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Sunday Morning Funnies # 77

Posted October 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Late last fall, the Indians on the Aamjiwnaang First Nation reservation in Grand Bend asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell […]

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Saturday Morning Confusion About Censorship!

Posted October 18, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: As you know, your often maligned reporter goes on rants and raves about stuff that seems grossly unfair, unjust, or just plain ridiculous. I have campaigned against the far left, far right, feminists, (especially the femi-nazi’s) special interest groups, animals lovers and vegetarians, bigots, racists, survivalists, cops, minorities, immigrants, liberals and conservatives, lobbyists, […]

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Earth’s magnetic field could flip at any time!

Posted October 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, according to the Perspective Research Department scientists have discovered that Earth’s magnetic field could flip from north to south at any time! Estimates range from next week, to more than a hundred years from now ………………, but rest assured it will flip soon! BUT! A magnetic field shift is old news. Around […]

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Ya had to be there!

Posted October 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Two hillbillies walked into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talked about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table who is eating a sandwich, began to cough. After a minute or so, it became apparent that she was in real distress. One of the hillbillies looked at her and […]

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Allan's Perspective

Some days ya shouldn’t get out of bed!

Posted October 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Boy, oh boy, have we got a “Loser of the Day” for ya today folks! Bad enough that this guy was attacked by a bear, but then his partner attempted to shoot the animal ….., and put a couple of rounds in him instead!http://www.theprovince.com/news/fights+life+after+being+mauled+grizzly+bear+shot+hunting+partner/10285561/story.html ——————————————— A pet parrot that spoke with a British accent when […]

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I will NOT be censored or silenced!

Posted October 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, this article was originally called “We got trouble in River City,” and for good reason! The politically correct crowd has taken over the asylum and woe to anyone who gets in their way! Your often maligned reporter wrote an article a few months ago about the injustices and inequities in this world, […]

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Sunday Morning Funnies About Religion!

Posted October 11, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the great distinctions between Christianity and Islam is that you can tell Jesus jokes in one, but don’t dare try Mohammed jokes on the other! Q: Why doesn’t Jesus play hockey? A: He kept getting nailed to the boards. Q: What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? […]

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Saturday Morning Computer Confusion!

Posted October 11, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: How does anyone manage to get by in this world if they are NOT computer wizards? I’m in a quandary and conundrum here that I don’t know how to escape from! As you no doubt know, “BlogsCanada.ca,” (Aside from my own posts under the heading “Allan’s Perspective”) is an aggregator of some of […]

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Is this site really that nasty?

Posted October 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, I don’t know if it’s because I speak negatively about Muslim extremism on this site, or complain about cops abusing their authority, or worry that the United States of America is going to hell in a hand basket, or that some feminists are out to castrate men, [;>)] or that immigrants abuse […]

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Verily, I say!

Posted October 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, your sometimes naive reporter just had a revelation of sorts. OF COURSE the bible thumpers believe the world was created 6000 years ago ………….., and evolution is a myth. After all, they also believe that Jesus spoke in 16th century English! (Verily) ———————————————- Workers at a New Jersey treatment plant say they saw a […]

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What Would Jesus say?

Posted October 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Strange news out of “Snoops.com” this morning! American Idol winner and country star Carrie Underwood released a single titled “Something in the Water,” and soon after, rumors began to circulate that atheists were trying to ban the track due to its Christian themes.Fortunately, that’s all this rumour is………………., a rumour! I say fortunately because it’s […]

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Maybe there is a conspiracy after all!

Posted October 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I have been a conspiracy de-bunker for many years now, but there is one thing that just might be true! I’m not talking about the bullshit concerning 9/11, or aliens and UFO’s, or who killed JFK, or the moon landings! NO! What I’m talking about is 100% proof-positive, boys and girls. I’m talking about […]

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And a banana for your monkey!

Posted October 7, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Now here’s a case straight out of “Planet of the Apes,” or perhaps a poster child for the group “people for the ethical treatment of animals!” (PETA) The case of Tommy the pet chimpanzee goes back to court this week, and a group of judges could decide whether he should be recognized as a “person” […]

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Car 54, someone stole a balloon!

Posted October 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A balloon lifts off over the crowd in the early morning during the annual Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, N.M. Saturday, Oct. 4, 2014. Organizers have equipped all 550 pilots with tablet computers capable of running a mapping application that will enable them to steer clear of the many restricted areas or prohibited zones […]

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If I Ruled the World #63

Posted October 5, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: We have mentioned on these pages that the United States of America is a truly schizophrenic society because on the one hand it’s the greatest country in the world, and on the other it has things that go on there that scare the shit out of me, and a whole bunch of other […]

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Saturday Morning Confusion # 88

Posted October 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

“Some men just want to watch the world burn!” Folks, I don’t know if it’s just me and I’m missing something, or perhaps there is an agenda I’m not aware of, or maybe even a point about human psychology that is foreign to me, but I’m really confused about these Islamic radicals and what they’re […]

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“Asshole of the Day” two for one sale!

Posted October 3, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Talk about yer “Asshole of the Day,” folks. We have another two for one sale! Sometimes, a simple plan works best if you’re a criminal. And sometimes, that plan to shove $1,200 worth of meat down your pants and walk out of a supermarket undetected doesn’t end so well. Police have charged Gregory Rodriguez with […]

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How to get smart!

Posted October 2, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We’ve all heard the phrase “knowledge is power.” The more knowledge you can acquire, the more power and ability you have to take on life’s problems. The problem, though, isn’t how much knowledge is out there, but how curious you are and how willing you are to go get it. Curiosity may have killed the […]

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Got your underwear in a knot?

Posted October 1, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, we get a lot of really weird shit sent to us here on this site, but this has to be one of the funniest and strangest things I have ever seen! Someone was flogging caffeine infused underwear to help you lose weight! Let me repeat that! Someone was selling underwear dipped in coffee, and […]

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NO PORK IN SCHOOL CANTEENS?

Posted September 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A REAL MAYOR WHO REFUSES TO REMOVE PORK FROM THE SCHOOL CANTEENS EXPLAINS WHY Muslim parents demanded the abolition of pork in all the school canteens of Ath in Belgium. Marc Duvivier the mayor of Ath, has refused, and the town clerk sent a note to all parents to explain why. “Muslims must understand that […]

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If you can remember Woodstock, you weren’t really there!

Posted September 29, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

They say that “if you can remember Woodstock, ya weren’t really there” and I can see the validity of this statement. I was there kids, but I don’t know anymore what was real and what was memorex! (Ya have to be a certain age to even know what that means folks!) The trouble lay in […]

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So far, fall is feeling more summery than summer.

Posted September 29, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Robert McMullen of St. Thomas, and John Temple of Port Stanley brought their boys to Port Stanley to enjoy another beautiful fall day at the beach south of London, Ont. on Sunday September 28, 2014. As is McMullen’s habit they set out to build a fort out of driftwood, from left the boys are Jayden […]

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Sunday Morning Funnies #79

Posted September 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A few different views of marriage! It’s Nice to Have a Husband By Your Side Over the years, When the sink overflowed, Or the car ran out of gas, Or the lady who comes every Tuesday to clean didn’t come, Or I felt pudgy, Or misunderstood, Or inferior to Marilyn Kaufman who is not only […]

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Why weren’t captured ISIS fighters shot?

Posted September 27, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

News out of Iraq yesterday that coalition forces captured 300 ISIS fighters. Our question is: Why weren’t they shot on the spot? ———————————————– Well kids, THIS is why Pit Bulls are banned: Toronto Police shot and killed a pit bull on Saturday just after 4 p.m. when it attacked a shih tzu and held the […]

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Blogs Canada has 100,000 readers a month!

Posted September 26, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with a great deal of pride and joy that I can announce my blog “BlogsCanada.ca” just hit the 100,000 readers a month mark. (The chart is about half way down on the right sidebar.) We have watched the totals steadily climb over the years, and today for the first time […]

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London Hydro might be about to get sued!

Posted September 26, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, London Hydro and a bunch of other “too big for their britches” companies are about to get sued! First, I should explain that I certainly don’t like paying my bills ahead of time like some cable companies (and others) insist upon, but if ya get right down to it, I don’t even […]

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B.C. teacher suspended for prank!

Posted September 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We have a brand new “Asshole of the Day” for ya, folks. A Langley, B.C., teacher has been suspended over a homophobic prank he played on a Grade 11 student in class last year. Daniel Mark Ogloff is a metal fabrication and machining teacher at Aldergrove Community Secondary School. On Sept. 24, 2013, Ogloff wrote […]

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The meaning of life!

Posted September 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

God, if we can quantify God at all, is some sort of vast, unseen, unknowable, omnipresent, omnipotent mind, intelligence, entity, or source of all reality that we shall call Mother Nature for simplicities sake. Mom is behind everything, and a part of everything, even though she is not part of, but rather outside of, this […]

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Black-ish is the new black

Posted September 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well, well, boys and girls, time to get serious for a change. North American blacks are leading a truly schizophrenic existence, and I don’t think it’s doing them any good! The reason I mention this is because there is a new TV show premiering tonight called “Black-ish” and it throws a light on some very […]

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O.M.G.

Posted September 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

O.M.G. kids, we had that alien with three tits in the last post………., now you tell me that this doesn’t look like the most vile, disgusting, give you nightmares and make you throw up in your hat ALIEN that you’ve ever seen! And yet it’s just a plain ol’ octopus! (So just imagine what a […]

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Tit for Tat!

Posted September 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well folks, maybe I should have saved this article for the Saturday Morning Confusion posts, since I really am quite confused about whether I should make this girl our “Winner of the Day,” or maybe our “Loser of the Day,” or maybe even our “Asshole of the Day!” You see, Jasmine Tridevil found a doctor […]

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Asshole of the Day!

Posted September 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A human rights lawyer is raising concern about the federal government’s plan to strip Canadian passports of those suspected of traveling abroad to join extremist groups. Citizenship and Immigration Canada has confirmed it is “revoking and refusing passports to those going abroad to take part in terrorist activities.” Lorne Waldman, the head of the Canadian […]

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Sunday Morning Funnies!

Posted September 21, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, this one is so good it can hold the fort all on its own! The Goodnight Kiss One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall […]

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Saturday Morning Confusion about Islam?

Posted September 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, there is so much being written about Islam lately that I thought you might like to understand this religion a little better, and see why they do the things they do! (Basically the Muslim Faith was conceived in violence, and propagated in violence, so is it any wonder they do stuff like […]

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OH NO! Not again!

Posted September 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Brace yourself: the Old Farmer’s Almanac has revealed its predictions for Canada’s upcoming winter season, and it’s not great news. After last winter’s seemingly never-ending wickedly cold weather, residents in much of the country can expect more of the same in the coming months. “We’re looking at the T-Rex of winters,” Jack Burnett, editor of […]

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Why Is Islam Just Like The Hotel California!

Posted September 18, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

(Answer to this Islamic riddle is at the bottom!) Well folks, there was a “letter to the editor” in the paper today that showed me just how misleading and patently false some statements by irresponsible, ill-informed people can be! Some guy was writing about wind turbines, and he made two ridiculous claims that are unsupported […]

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U.S. at War again!

Posted September 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

In the past it was the “war on poverty” and the “war on drugs” etc. etc. and now the United States has gone to war again twice in one week! In a surprise move President Obama yesterday declared a “War on Ebola” and a “War on ISIS!” According to the Perspective Research Department, (see below) […]

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