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Posts Tagged ‘spotlight’
 

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Allan's Perspective

The Hitchhiker!

Posted July 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Kyle Sauvé, left, Keith Campbell and Jean-Pierre Brien pick up hitchBOT from the couple that travelled with the hitchhiking robot from Halifax to New Brunswick. The robot’s creators hope it can bum rides all the way to Victoria. A ROBOT IS HITCHHIKING ACROSS CANADA, KIDS! Bumming rides from a trio of road tripping dudes and […]

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Now that’s progress!

Posted July 29, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Want to see how much progress we made in a century? This is a 1910 Ford automobile! (That’s only 104 years ago folks!) Show this to your friends, children and/or grandchildren! What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the Year 1910: (applies to the USA) *********************************** The average life expectancy for […]

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Nice, but not for you!

Posted July 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Yes kids, we are all going to hell in a hand-basket? Why a hand-basket, you ask? I have no idea, that’s just what everybody says! As you probably know by now, Comic-con was held this past weekend in San Diego, and this group of girls/women (?) showed up dressed like this! Aside from complaining that […]

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YA CAN’T WIN FOR LOSING!

Posted July 27, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I sometimes think I’m losing my mind! Just to show you how one sided all this politically correct bullshit is ……., they held a big (free) bar-b-que for about 15,000 Rob Ford supporters on the weekend and a bunch of malcontents and agitators from the LGBT community showed up to protest Rob Ford’s alleged […]

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Shay!

Posted July 27, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Two Choices What would you do?….you make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line, there isn’t one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice? At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that […]

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Saturday Morning Confusion about CONSPIRACIES!

Posted July 26, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, a friend of mine sent this video to get my opinion and comments, and I have to admit that I was very hesitant to show it on these pages! Why? Because ………., in spite of the fact that it’s all bullshit, it was done very professionally, slick and convincingly! So convincing that a good […]

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Back to the dark ages?

Posted July 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

How would you like to live without electricity? Could you live without electricity? Well hang on to your ass folks, because it could happen at any time. Your ever inquisitive reporter just read an article about ‘solar storms’ and ‘x-ray flares’ etc. etc. and I came to the realization that we were fortunate to have […]

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Stop, BANG, or I’ll shoot!

Posted July 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well, well, just like dash cameras lessened incidents of violence during police traffic stops, so too will personal cameras on individual cops alleviate many of the problems associated with “police officers” shooting and beating on civilians …………………….., whether they deserve it or not! That, combined with the judicious use of Tasers instead of guns, will […]

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Let’s get to The Source!

Posted July 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A couple of notes about the left and right wing media here in Canada this morning. (By right wing, I mean, of course, Sun News and Sun TV, while left wing is just about everybody else!) Although I don’t hear cries of “hidden agenda” lately, left wing coverage of the Conservatives, and especially Harper, continues […]

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Cougar or Pedophile?

Posted July 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

MPUMAALANGA, South Africa — At an age when most boys would be the ring bearer at a wedding, South African 9-year-old Sanele Masilela was the one walking down the aisle … to marry a 62-year-old woman for the second time. According to the South African Sunday Times, both families claim the wedding is simply a […]

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They missed their Target, folks!

Posted July 21, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

There is a rumour that Target Stores, after just 18 months here in Canada, (And over 1 BILLION dollars in loses) is going to pull the plug, pull up stakes, and pull out, as in “coitus interruptus!” Yup, they just might pull a fast one …………….., and split! ——————————————- How’s THIS for bullshit supreme?During all […]

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Sunday Morning Funnies #672

Posted July 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland. Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will […]

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Rockford is dead!

Posted July 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Call him Rockford, call him Maverick, call him whatever you wish …………….., he will still be missed! ——————————————— From the “This is NUTS department!” A jury has awarded some woman in Florida $23.6 BILLION dollars because her husband died of cancer from smoking! Whoa, back the struck up a bit here folks, $23.6 BILLION? Has […]

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Is this me?

Posted July 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

O.K. folks, I have been told I have very bad “facial recognition!” Basically what that means is that I don’t recognize people very well …………………………, I can meet someone one day, and not know who they are the next! BUT, in spite of what other people say, I think this guy (Jim Sheppard) from the […]

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Saturday Morning Confusion #17

Posted July 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, a lot of confusion about stuff like climate change, evolution, and a whole bunch of other scientific issues lately! This article discusses how equal time is not really appropriate for a clearly false or uninformed position! The metaphor that a coin has two sides is a powerful one, and the temptation to look at […]

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That downed jet was NOT a terrorist act!

Posted July 18, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, let’s get things back into perspective here! In spite of all the rhetoric and propaganda afforded to the situation, the downing of a Malaysian airliner over Ukraine was NOT an act of terrorism! Was it shot down by Russian separatists over the eastern part of the Ukraine? Yes! Was it shot down with Russian […]

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Lets get things back into Perspective here! #1

Posted July 18, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, let’s get things back into perspective here! Your humble and overworked reporter has to set things right on certain occasions, so we here at the Perspective Research Department, along with the staff at Naked News, are going to provide a regular feature here on BlogsCanada.ca called…………………………, LET’S GET THINGS BACK INTO PERSPECTIVE HERE! We […]

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Shark!

Posted July 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A video of a what appeared to be a bull shark swimming off of Wolfe Island in Lake Ontario has been revealed to be a marketing ploy for Discovery’s Channel’s Shark Week and its sponsor Nissan Rogue. The whole thing sounded a bit “fishy” to begin with folks, since sharks are salt water fish and […]

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Gestapo!

Posted July 16, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, when I read this article, words like “GESTAPO” immediately come to mind! In the black, red and gold excitement of Germany’s 1-0 defeat of Argentina, Adam Guzzo decided the German flag deserved to be flown high above the swarm of street revellers. “I told my buddy, ‘I’m going to climb up that lamppost, get […]

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Party Pooper!

Posted July 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

HMCS Whitehorse returned to Esquimalt, B.C., Monday after a vice admiral of the RCN ordered it home from an international naval exercise called RIMPAC. A Canadian warship has been ordered back to port instead of going on maneuvers. (Da-da-dum-dum!) In a rare move by the Royal Canadian Navy, a ship has been ordered home from […]

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Chicken Chasers Win the Day at Stampede!

Posted July 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well folks, the PETA People are at it again! You know who they are, the do-gooders who want you to stop wearing fur, become a vegetarian, feed the birds and adopt a pet, people! This time the object of their wrath is once again the Calgary Stampede! First of all, they want to ban the […]

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Box Office Goes Bananas for Planet of the Apes!

Posted July 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well I said I was going to see the movie ……………………….. and I did! It turned out to be exactly what I figured it would be, no more and no less, and that’s O.K. with me! —————————————- Quebec Report! Why Quebec is closed for business: La Belle Province comes close to dead last in almost […]

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Adriana is a pain in the butt. No pun intended!

Posted July 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: My “girlfriend”writes me a letter every week or two ………………………….., so I thought I would share the latest with you! BABE… i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of garbage and keeps freezing.. […]

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Weekend Health Tips!

Posted July 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: From curing smelly feet by wiping them with vodka to treating blisters with mouthwash, here are 10 quirky health tips to help in life! 1. Eating a burger helps jet lag Chomping down a burger and chips during a flight doesn’t exactly seem like the most healthy option while sitting in the same […]

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Sunday Morning Funnies: Michael Jackson

Posted July 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

O.K. 1. Michael Jackson is dead. That’s not funny! 2. These guys went on a binge last night. That’s not funny either! But! What they did this morning with the empty beer bottles is a whole different matter! 3. ——————————————————— Two Scottish nuns in Glasgow sat at a traffic light in their car when a […]

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Saturday Morning Confusion about what’s real, and what isn’t!

Posted July 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, dinosaurs don’t exist anymore. So why did Steven Spielberg kill a triceratops? Facebook fans didn’t realize that Jay Branscomb was joking when he posted a “disgraceful” photo of a “despicable man” (Namely director Steven Spielberg) posing with a poached triceratops. One Facebook commenter who was in the dark about the animal’s extinction wrote: “Disgusting! […]

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Islamy a Muslim, or not?

Posted July 11, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

From the Perspective Naked News Department comes a story out of the United States that shows Americans really are a clueless bunch. You’ve already heard that a good percentage of these geniuses don’t believe in evolution, and that the Universe is only 6000 years old, BUT …….., on top of not being born in the […]

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Great lines from great movies!

Posted July 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The weekend is coming and the Mrs. Herself and I have decided to go to the movies. We have a method that keeps everybody happy folks! The Mrs. Herself checks the movie times and finds two movies in the same cineplex, at about the same time, that we can see! For example, she wants to […]

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Give them a finger!

Posted July 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: My dad used to say “give them a little finger, and they will take your whole arm!” This cute little quote can be used in a lot of situations, but two in particular come to mind this morning! The Gays and the French! First of all we mentioned that the LGTB community just […]

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407 – ‘Common Sense Revolution’ in action!

Posted July 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers, we got this in the mail today:: A lot of talk lately about what the provincial Liberals are going to do to Ontario now that they have a majority, but it can’t be any worse than what Mike Harris did to us back in may of 1999! The Common Sense Revolution in action: […]

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A hooker by any other name!

Posted July 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I don’t know who I am more P.O.’d with, feminists, politicians, the P.C. crowd, or just the left wing in general! Although I couldn’t catch her name in time, some woman testifying at the hearings into the new Conservative anti-prostitution law, described being a hooker as about the same thing as being “tortured!” She […]

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I’m Normal!

Posted July 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

So ya say that life is getting you down! Your wife is a bitch, and your son is a clown. The mother-in-law is crazy, and last night is real hazy! Even the job is the pits, and life is the shits! There’s no money to spend, and ya don’t have a friend! IS THAT WHAT’S […]

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What to do about Hamas?

Posted July 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: There isn’t anything that is going to solve the problems in the Middle-East anytime soon since some Arab States are committed to the destruction of Israel, and the Jews are committed to populating the West Bank with settlements to the point where the Palestinians are forced out! BUT! The problem with Hamas is […]

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Whatever happened to middle-of-the-road?

Posted July 7, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Your ever faithful reporter has been listening to a lot of weekend political shows recently and one thing struck me as extremely strange! It doesn’t matter who you talk about, the left wing, or the right wing, Canada or the States, it seems that anyone who is in one camp or the other, […]

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“The Dude” does not abide in Jeff Bridges!

Posted July 7, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Mr. Bridges: Although I have seen, and enjoyed your movie “The Big Lebowski” on numerous occasions, there is one small detail that I would like to straighten out! It seems you are not only referred to as “The Dude” in the movie, but now also in real life! This is a misconception that I […]

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A disaster waiting to happen!

Posted July 7, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: As the anti-pipeline, anti-fracking, anti-oil, and anti-oil sands fanatics get more funding from the likes of Russia and the Middle-East, we are starting to see a tremendous jump in the volume of crude distributed by rail. Never mind that the pipeline for the Northern Gateway project will only add 1200 km to Canada’s […]

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World Cup Soccer invaded by giant crickets!

Posted July 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

It’s time for Fifa World Cup Soccer news, kids! Host Brazil is moving on to the semifinals of the World Cup after beating fellow heavyweight Colombia 2-1 in a game that had its share of suspect calls. As Matthew Cowley noted there were a total of 51 fouls in this match, which made the whole […]

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Saturday Morning Confusion about SEX

Posted July 5, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

(Transgender woman (?) Avery Edison has filed two human rights complaints after being detained at a male-only facility when she was stopped at Toronto’s Pearson International Airport in February, 2014.) Folks, we have a conundrum here, and your ever helpful reporter is not only going to solve it ………….., I am also going to offer […]

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Happy Birthday!

Posted July 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The first or the fourth, it’s all the same happy birthday folks! ——————————————- Drones have been banned from all national parks in the United States, according to new regulations established by U.S. government officials. The National Park Service (NPS), the government agency that manages the nation’s national parks, monuments and other historical sites, has outlawed […]

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Ford the Junkie?

Posted July 3, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, all the local and national media outlets in Canada are suggesting that it’s time for Rob Ford to get out of politics ……….., but let’s face it, deep down they’re really glad he’s back! (Rob also said yesterday that he has tried a lot of different drugs, but never did heroin. Well, let’s face […]

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