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Posts Tagged ‘spotlight’
 

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion About Trees!

Posted November 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

“I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a tree!” That’s a poem by Joyce Kilmer, but this is actually a story about Christine Montgomery and Andy Beaton! The ballad of Chris and Andy! You see, Chris is an amateur Poet who put a small box on the tree in front […]

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Allan's Perspective

High times at Ridgemount rest home!

Posted November 21, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

One of the women in the video says she’ll NEVER GET HIGH AGAIN! Dorothea — the most timid granny in the video — says she won’t try wacky tobacky again because she didn’t like the way it made her totally lose control. However, the Internet star tells us she now understands why there’s a big […]

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Left wing -2, Common sense -0

Posted November 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Two things that are short and sweet for today’s post kids! First of all: Bill Cosby Whether he did it or not, is NOT the issue ladies and gentlemen. He has never been charged, let alone convicted of any of these allegations, but he IS being convicted int he court of public opinion. Right now […]

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Allan's Perspective

The Sun doesn’t always shine!

Posted November 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, let me tell you a little bit about Sun News. First of all, the Sun News TV network is not on basic cable because the left wing media and government have managed to keep it relegated to the hinterland of cable TV by making it the only news network you have to pay extra […]

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Allan's Perspective

A shitty little country?

Posted November 18, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Your often maligned reporter is getting sick and tired of all the Arabs and left wing bleeding hearts wringing their hands and lamenting over the way the poor Palestinians are being treated by that evil State of Israel. Look folks, I don’t like what Israel is doing to the people in the West […]

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Allan's Perspective

You’re a million dollar baby!

Posted November 18, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Let this be a warning to be very careful where you go on vacation, and then make sure you have proper insurance! A dream vacation has turned into a financial nightmare for one Saskatchewan couple, after a mom-to-be gave birth while on holiday in Hawaii. Jennifer Huculak and her husband have been saddled […]

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Allan's Perspective

The need for weed!

Posted November 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: When I was much younger I smoked weed on a regular basis, and even inhaled once in a while. BUT! I also started to notice that getting high on pot gave me anxiety attacks now and then, so as soon as I realized this the weed went out the window. Since that time, […]

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Allan's Perspective

God is Alive!

Posted November 16, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and gentlemen, if this was Tuesday, it would be Belgium, but since it’s Sunday we here at the Perspective Research Department, along with all the Naked News staff, are always interested in religious matters that shed new light on the age old question of just what is real, and what is not. In other […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies! #7768

Posted November 16, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY “THOMAS COOK VACATIONS” FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS : 1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.” 2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I […]

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General

Asshole of the Year!

Posted November 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: At first I was going to call this piece ‘**** of the year,” but that was a little TOO graphic, plus my crudeness would cause problems with “The Mrs. Herself,” ………and I don’t need aggravation here at home too! So, here it is: In the everything’s-relative department: A judge this week awarded Sue […]

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Allan's Perspective

Don’t get your underwear in a knot!

Posted November 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

KODIAK, Alaska (AP) — An underwear bandit is actively stealing women’s undergarments in Kodiak, Alaska. Alaska State Troopers say there’s been a rash of burglaries reported lately. People have returned to their homes to find items — mostly women’s underwear — missing. Fisherman Hannah Clark tells Kodiak radio station KMXT (http://is.gd/jB49hx) that she began noticing […]

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Allan's Perspective

What’s up with Obama?

Posted November 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We got a letter from Rick Brunt: Brunt wrote in his letter, titled “You Americans have no idea just how good you have it with Obama,” that his fellow Canadians were confused about the results of the midterm elections. For Brunt, the Republican gains in those elections did not make sense to him when things […]

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Allan's Perspective

Blow Me Down!

Posted November 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Over in Alberta, and just about any other jurisdiction that has wind turbines, there is absolutely NO opposition to them! Matter of fact, everybody and his uncle are clamoring to get in on the action by placing one of these windmills on their property! SO WHY THE OPPOSITION HERE IN ONTARIO? Blame Canada […]

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Allan's Perspective

Gay bull killed!

Posted November 11, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

(Liberation: Benjy, the Charolais bull faces slaughter because he is gay!) Ladies and Gentlemen: As any regular reader of this blog will know, we here in the Perspective Research Department are champions of gay rights! Even though we don’t agree with gay “marriage,” we believe that being gay should not have any negative connotations associated […]

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Allan's Perspective

In Flanders Fields.

Posted November 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

++++++++ THE FINAL INSPECTION The soldier stood and faced God, Which must always come to pass.. He hoped his shoes were shining, Just as brightly as his brass. ‘Step forward now, you soldier, How shall I deal with you ? Have you always turned the other cheek ? To My Church have you been true?’ […]

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Allan's Perspective

Guess what? Santa is Canadian!

Posted November 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

(Santa getting ready for Christmas!) Dear Readers: The Perspective Research Department has obtained documents that show the Harper government is prepared to increase our claim to the North all the way up to the North Pole! This would also automatically make Santa Claus a Canadian citizen! ——————————————————– Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been doing a […]

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Allan's Perspective

The choice for mankind!

Posted November 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

“The choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness, and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better.” ― George Orwell, 1984 Dear Readers: As a follow up to yesterdays article about privacy and the spread of face recognition technology, we have something else for you to consider today! Imagine a system in your […]

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Sunday Morning Funnies #11

Posted November 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of […]

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Saturday Morning Confusion About Privacy #76

Posted November 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Facial recognition technology is used to screen people at the Statue of Liberty in New York. The U.S. government pumped millions of dollars into the development of facial recognition technology after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks. (Chip East/Reuters) Dear Readers: If anybody is still confused about how much the government is prying into your private […]

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Allan's Perspective

Blowin in the wind!

Posted November 7, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well folks, it’s official, wind turbines do NOT cause illness, or even ill effects, in people. A year long study of over 1000 people has positively shown that wind turbines do not cause bad things to good people. Not through noise, or magnetic fields, or increased UFO traffic, or disruption of the O-zone, negative energy, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sexual Harassment?

Posted November 5, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Big blow-out on Parliament Hill today with everyone running around like chickens with their heads cut off! Justin Trudeau suspended two male Liberal M.P.s for some sort of alleged inappropriate conduct, which was made by an NDP woman last week. The strange thing is that nobody is saying what the “offense” was, how it was […]

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Allan's Perspective

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Posted November 5, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well folks, we now have a name for it! “Christmas Creep!” Ho, Ho! No, we’re not talking about Uncle harry, who comes for a visit every year, but rather the annoying habit of starting X-mas commercials and festivities earlier and earlier every year! With Halloween now past, some retailers are already preparing for the holiday […]

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Allan's Perspective

W.T.F. #4

Posted November 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: We got THIS in the mail today and as far as the Perspective Research Department can tell, the facts seem to be correct! An excerpt from Jackie Wilson’s Facebook: By now you all know that my husband is a member of the Argyll & Sutherland Highlanders of Canada and is a comrade of […]

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Allan's Perspective

Honey Boo Boo and Uncle Poodle!

Posted November 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: In a world-wide exclusive, the Naked News Department and the Perspective Research team has learned from TMZ that Honey Boo Boo is about to have a safe, stable home free of all convicted child molesters … …., or so vows Uncle Poodle, who says he’ll file for custody if things get bad at […]

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Allan's Perspective

The Pope!

Posted November 3, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well folks, it seems like the Mooslims are being insulted again! A radical Muslim group threatened a suicide attack on the Vatican yesterday even as the Holy See said Pope Benedict regretted that some Muslims were offended by his comments about the role of violence in the spread of Islam. The pontiff “sincerely regrets that […]

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Allan's Perspective

Pavlok, a Device That Shocks You

Posted November 2, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, even though it is Sunday, forget about religious commentary or anything else! I just saw something that each and every one of us needs………………, and right away! Special Contributor, Yahoo! Tech https://www.yahoo.com/tech/i-strap-the-gadget-to-my-wrist-and-double-click-101397371719.html

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Sunday Morning Funnies #31

Posted November 2, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Truly a miracle. According to the Bible, Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Palestine. A country where people are named Mohammed, Abdul, Mounir, Aziz, Ahmed, Farid, Omar, Youssouf, Mouloud, etc. And yet He managed to find 12 friends called John, Peter, Paul, Phillip, Mark, Thomas, Luke, Mathew, Andrew and Simon …… who all drank wine! […]

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Saturday Morning Confusion #93 1/3

Posted November 1, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Catherine Butler, of Gates N.Y. makes the list of “Loser of the Day” for her confused antics last night. She was stopped by the cops around midnight for driving home from a Halloween party without her headlights on! Guess what? She was also drunk. Police charged her with DUI and confiscated her car ……., so […]

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Exclusive photo’s of Jian Ghomeshi on a date!

Posted October 31, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Once again, ya saw it here first! After a great amount of trouble and expense, the Perspective Naked News staff , a branch of the Perspective Research Department, has managed to obtain this clip of Jian Ghomeshi on a recent date with one of the women now accusing him of assault. As you […]

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Allan's Perspective

Happy Black and Orange Day!

Posted October 31, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: In our never-ending battle against political correctness and all the bullshit that goes with it, THIS is the latest tradition to fall victim to the far left! By Matthew Coutts | Daily Brew It is that spooky time of year when Canadian parents and students in small pockets around the country bristle at […]

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Allan's Perspective

Asshole of the Week!

Posted October 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Despite being NDP, I had a certain amount of respect and admiration for Thomas Mulcair……., until yesterday! Even though i don’t agree with his far left leanings, (i.e. NDP) he impressed me as a politician and a leader of a political party. And then he had to go and destroy it!!!!! Mulcair came […]

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At last, a rebuttal of my book!

Posted October 29, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well, folks, we finally have it! A complete and utter rebuttal of the logic, research, common sense and just plain good old skepticism that explained what God and Religion was all about in my book “The Plain Truth About God!” (Or should I say what God and Religion was NOT about!) Yup, they never stop […]

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It’s a wonderful world folks!

Posted October 29, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: My friend Wayne sent this to me yesterday, and I liked it enough that we are going to pass it on to you as a sort of spiritual break from the normal hustle and bustle of the everyday world. You will recognize it immediately, but it is none-the-less an unusual take on a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Hell has no fury like a woman scorned?

Posted October 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: At first glance I thought all the stuff about Jian Ghomeshi was a fabrication and “get even” by his former girlfriend. (After all, this wouldn’t be the first time a jilted lover made up a bunch of shit to get back at someone.) BUT! Jian Ghomeshi came out and proclaimed that it was […]

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Any Ebola yours, is an Ebola mine!

Posted October 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Since your ever faithful reporter comments on matters great and small in the world of religion, we also get a lot of letters trying to set us straight on some issues, and clarifying others! One of the most disturbing pieces of mail we have received in quite some time came from a far […]

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This is either racist and sexist ….., or it’s not!

Posted October 27, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Olivia Chow is running a strong LAST amongst the tree major contenders for the job of Mayor of Toronto today…………, and she’s NOT happy! What has made her even more disgruntled is a political cartoon published by the Toronto Sun over the weekend. They poked fun at poor Olivia in a way that is either […]

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Let’s talk about sex!

Posted October 27, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

What a devastating weekend in the world of entertainment folks! First Honey Boo gets cancelled because her mother is dating some sort of pervert or child molester, and then we get word on Sunday that Jian Chomeshi has parted ways with the CBC as well. In Jian’s case there were some allegations about his sexual […]

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Sunday Evening Funnies!

Posted October 26, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Your ever forgetful reporter had a bout of Al’s Heimers this morning and forgot to print the Sunday Morning Funnies, ……………… ! So I am doing it Sunday evening instead! Since Tomorrow is an election day in Ontario I thought this short story would be appropriate! And THIS, ladies and Gentlemen, brings us […]

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