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fqryxu4x3grbni5epakh Allan's Perspective

It’s the old farts who are really dangerous!

Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s the old folks who are the real menace on our highways, not the teenagers! Don’t believe me, the next time ya see someone with their turn signal on for ten miles ………………., drive up beside them, and who do you think it will be? Or how about the guy in front […]

asshole trophy Allan's Perspective

Can we make an entire University administration our “Assholes of the Day?”

Dear Readers: Enough has been said about the debacle at University of Regina, and how they tried to shut up a anti-abortion protester by having him arrested, that I don’t think my two cents worth will add or subtract significantly from the discussion. HOWEVER, the tendency, especially among our academic institutions, to muzzle free speech […]

untitled Allan's Perspective

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone! (Boy, they sure got a strange way of celebrating it down in the States!) This being an important religious weekend for Christians and Jews, President Obama took a break from his typically-partisan Saturday radio address to offer Easter and Passover greetings. Then, Sen. Lamar Alexander, on behalf of the Republican Party, gave […]

clown17 Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 43

Two medical students were walking along the street when they noticed an old man. He was walking slowly with his legs spread apart. He looked stiff. One of them said, “I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome.” The other said, “No, I don’t think so. He has Zovitzki Syndrome because he walks slowly […]

5649570632_37c4b118db_z Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion: What population explosion?

Folks we got it all wrong. There is no population explosion! (Matter of fact, it’s the exact opposite bunky.) Look at it THIS WAY! Every person alive today has two parents. But they have four grandparents. And sixteen grandparents. SEE WHERE I’M GOING WITH THIS? We are getting less people with each generation, and with […]

imagesH8QR5OD9 Allan's Perspective

Bill.

By Martin Howard It began like most other nights at the Lauret Nursing Home. The sound of my footsteps filled the stark, empty hallway as I did my rounds. I had heard the orderlies refer to this area as the “vegetable patch” and their characterization wasn’t too far off. What may not be public knowledge […]

untitled Allan's Perspective

A politician, a cop and a pharmacist walk into a pot farm …!

It’s no joke: Ex-health minister George Smitherman, a retired deputy chief of Toronto police, and a Markham druggist are applying to open a medical marijuana facility in Durham Region. The trio — a veritable dream team in the medical marijuana industry — secured a property in Durham Region with about 16,000 square feet of serviceable […]

anne_marie_hayes_2_jpg_size_xxlarge_promo Allan's Perspective

This will drive ya crazy!

Anne Marie Hayes, president of a non-profit organization called Teens Learn to Drive, says that as a parent, she would not want her daughter in a vehicle with an instructor who had had his teaching licence revoked in the past three years. Folks, do ya remember “Drivers-Ed” back in high school? Well, it’s still around…………….., […]

asshole trophy Allan's Perspective

Wynne: “Asshole of the day!”

Premier Kathleen Wynne’s brother-in-law has been named the interim chief executive of e-Health Ontario, a move that raised the hackles of New Democrats at Queen’s Par. Folks, after everything that has happened to the Liberals in Ontario, this sort of thing does not surprise me! It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are: It doesn’t matter […]

images Allan's Perspective

SNOW!

The weather office has predicted cold temperatures and snow for Southern Ontario, so I got up this morning and GUESS WHAT! (If there is no post on this site for 24 hours it means I have committed suicide!) —————————————————————- Hey folks, put THIS in your pipe and smoke it! What if the United States has […]

untitled Bizarre/Oddities

“Missing Link” Discovered!

Great news from the Perspective Research Department folks. Rumour has it that we are about to make a giant leap forward in our knowledge of early computer games. Far from Raiders of the Last Ark, a team of archeologists, sociologists and gaming fans plans to dig up a New Mexico landfill this month in search […]

700.hq Beliefs and Causes

Biologists Confirm God Evolved From Chimpanzee Deity!

Researchers say today’s Lord Almighty shares many traits in common with the chimp deity, including color vision and omniscience. O. K, FOLKS, IT’S SUNDAY ……………………, AND TIME FOR ANOTHER DOSE OF RELIGION! The only problem is…….., are we talking about “Planet of the Apes?” The Onion! BERKELEY, CA—Challenging long-held views on the origins of divinity, […]

untitled Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion About XL Pipeline!

Dear Readers: First of all we have some news from the town of Kitimat, way out in the wilds of British Columbia. You know about Kitimat, that’s the place where the XL pipeline is supposed to feed into a marine terminal for shipping oil overseas! Well, the tree huggers have been poring all sorts of […]

sextuplets_jpg_size_xxlarge_promo Allan's Perspective

Having kids is hereditary……………….., and dangerous!

In this photo taken on Aug. 12, 2004, Ben Van Houten, left, and his wife, Amy, pose for a family portrait with their six children at their home in Hamilton. Ben Van Houten suffered a fatal heart attack Wednesday night after playing on a trampoline with his kids! ————————————— SPEAKING OF KIDS! When I was […]

Project1 Allan's Perspective

Rob Ford: Why does the term “white trash” keep coming to mind?

The more I hear about Rob Ford, the more the term “white trash” comes to mind! One of the first members of Rob Ford’s campaign team is the co-host of an online marijuana show, High F—ers, in which he smokes joints until he vomits, tells profane stories while high, and dedicates his drug use to […]

imagesSV3P46G7 Allan's Perspective

How to tell a black man from a nigger at a party!

Well folks, it’s that time again! We have to get a few things straight! First of all, a simple test to tell (as the title says) “How to tell a black man from a nigger at a party! There are 6 blacks and 6 niggers in this collection. Your job is to figure out who […]

untitled Allan's Perspective

Will the real Pierre Peladeau please step forward!

After the surprising news in this week’s Quebec election I was going to look up that guy who owns Quebecor, (Pierre Peladeau) and see what he is all about…., since he is now rumoured to be the next P.Q. big shot! After reading a bunch of stuff about him that didn’t make much sense, I […]

very_interesting_photos_40 Allan's Perspective

Andromeda …………..WOW!

Dear Readers: This fascinated me when I first saw it …………………………., and I think it might impress you too! The Andromeda Galaxy (our closest neighbour) is really big in the sky, but is too dim for us to see without a telescope. BUT! If it was BRIGHTER, this is what it would look like in […]

image Allan's Perspective

A cheesy story, if ever there was one!

STOP THE PRESSES, BACK UP THE TRUCK …..,, GATHER ROUND KIDS! (We got a cheesy story for ya!) Le Baluchon, a cheese from Quebec, has been named “cheese of the year” in the inaugural Canadian Cheese Awards. The cheese, from Fromagerie FX Pichet in Sainte-Anne-de-la-Perade, Que., won in the competition, which featured 76 producers from […]

image Allan's Perspective

Ontario “Beer Store” Against Alcohol Sales in Grocery Stores!

(World curling champion and Beer Store manager Glenn Howard appears in a TV ad opposing the sale of alcohol in convenience stores and gas stations.) Ontario “Beer Store” Against Alcohol Sales in Grocery Stores: OF COURSE THEY ARE! The “Beer Store” has got a monopoly now, kids ……………………., so naturally they are going to fight […]


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TV Wednesday: Modern Family heads Down Under (with video)

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  Alex Strachan

Fair dinkum or not: You decide. Modern Family is headed Down Under. The Emmy perennial never pretended to reflect the problems facing a working-class family, of course, the way Roseanne did in the late 1990s. Even so, hardly a season […]

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Pacers rally past Hawks 101-85 to even series

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  Sports News Headlines - Yahoo! News

Indiana Pacers head coach Frank Vogel calls a play during the first half in Game 2 of an opening-round NBA basketball playoff series against the Atlanta Hawks Tuesday, April 22, 2014, in Indianapolis. (AP Photo/Darron Cummings)INDIANAPOLIS (AP) — The Pacers got tired of talking trash.

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Pujols 1st to hit HRs No. 499, 500 in same game

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  Sports News Headlines - Yahoo! News

Los Angeles Angels' Albert Pujols (5) steps out of the visitors' dugout to acknowledge the applause from the crowd after hitting his career 500th home run, off Washington Nationals' Taylor Jordan in the fifth inning of a baseball game in Washington, Tuesday, April 22, 2014. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)WASHINGTON (AP) — Albert Pujols smiled as he explained why he felt the need to apologize to his wife for hitting homer No. 500 so quickly after No. 499.

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Rangers beat Flyers 4-1 in Game 3, take 2-1 lead

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  Sports News Headlines - Yahoo! News

New York Rangers' Derek Stepan, right, gets the puck past Philadelphia Flyers' Ray Emery, left, for a goal during the first period in Game 3 of an NHL hockey first-round playoff series, Tuesday, April 22, 2014, in Philadelphia. (AP Photo/Chris Szagola)PHILADELPHIA (AP) — While his teammates mobbed him after a late goal, Dan Carcillo trash-talked with Flyers fans through the glass before hitting the bench for a celebration.

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Wizards beat Bulls 101-99 in OT to take 2-0 lead

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  Sports News Headlines - Yahoo! News

Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah (13) shoots between Washington Wizards forward Nene Hilario (42) and Marcin Gortat during the first half of Game 2 in an opening-round NBA basketball playoff series Tuesday, April 22, 2014, in Chicago. (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)CHICAGO (AP) — This one looked like it was slipping away from the Washington Wizards. Then, in a flash everything changed.

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DeRozan fuels Raptors to series-tying win over Nets

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  Ottawa Citizen - Sports

Just a few moments earlier, he looked lost. DeMar DeRozan had picked up his fifth foul early in the fourth quarter, and practically begged head coach Dwane Casey to keep him in. Smartly, the coach did not listen.

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Pujols hits 500-homer milestone

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  Ottawa Citizen - Sports

Albert Pujols has hit the 500th home run of his career, becoming the 26th player in major league history to reach that milestone.

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Hanging out SRO sign, Scenic Cruises selling 2015

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  Phil Reimer

Scenic Cruises, the all-inclusive river cruise line, has done such a great job of selling out a good portion of 2014 that it’s now moving on to 2015. New itineraries and two new ships highlight Scenic’s 2015. Here is what […]

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Your Top Plays for Today

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  Sports News Headlines - Yahoo! News

Montreal Canadiens left wing Max Pacioretty (67) is mobbed by teammates after scoring the winning goal against the Tampa Bay Lightning during third period National Hockey League Stanley Cup playoff action on Tuesday, April 22, 2014 in Montreal. (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Ryan Remiorz)Your Top Plays for Today: AP’s Sports Guide

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Bruins’ Marchand denies faking injury after trip

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  Anonymous

Marchand denies faking injury after trip

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Cullen: Habs sweep; Kings in trouble; Bruins, Rangers up

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  tsn.ca Top Stories RSS

Go to TSN.ca for details. #TSN

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Lewenberg: DeRozan finds playoff redemption in Game 2 win

Posted  April 23, 2014  by  tsn.ca Top Stories RSS

Go to TSN.ca for details. #TSN

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