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Posts Tagged ‘satire’
 

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #94

Posted March 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Time for another batch of funnies, boys and girls! ———————————– A thoughtful Scottish Husband was putting his coat and hat on to make his way down to the local pub, He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, ‘ Abigail – put your hat and coat on, lassie.’ She replied, ‘Awe Dearheart, that’s […]

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Humour

Sunday Morning Funnies #76

Posted April 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

1. EstherHarshom What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis. 2. VildereKlovn Somebody stole my mood ring and I’m not quite sure how I feel about that. – Tracy Jordan 3. ChrisLikesSoda So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere… 4. azembala I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 43

Posted April 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Two medical students were walking along the street when they noticed an old man. He was walking slowly with his legs spread apart. He looked stiff. One of them said, “I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome.” The other said, “No, I don’t think so. He has Zovitzki Syndrome because he walks slowly […]

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Allan's Perspective

Outrage vs. Ignorance! A Truly Sterling Performance!

Posted April 29, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, the Sterling scandal has taken on a life of its own, and is getting far too much attention…………………, much more than it deserves! With this in mind I am going to make a few comments, and then never mention the subject again. First of all: Donald Sterling made those unfortunate, stupid and racist remarks […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #83

Posted May 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

WHEN I SAY I’M BROKE – I’M BROKE! A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day; to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. ‘Good morning,’ said the young man. ‘If I could take a couple minutes of your time. I would like to demonstrate the very […]

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Humour

Sunday Morning Funnies #98

Posted January 5, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Here’s a few stories for all you people going on vacation in the next few months! The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers from around the world: Put together by the Naked News staff! While taxiing the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 22

Posted June 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

————-The Job Interview An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them one question and their answer would determine who would get the […]

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Humour

Sunday Morning Funnies #66

Posted January 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We have another batch of Sunday Morning Funnies to make your day start with a chuckle folks! ————————————- A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week […]

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Allan's Perspective

Ya, but is she really nuts? Or just faking it?

Posted June 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well, just a few days after Hillary Clinton was in Toronto for a book signing tour, the Republican National Committee has deployed a giant squirrel to follow Hillary Clinton around the country on the book tour for hew new memoir, Hard Choices, mocking her potential 2016 presidential run with the message that, quote, “another Clinton […]

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Celebrities

Ready for the Golden Globes on Sunday night?

Posted January 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

It’s time again for the glittering party that is the Golden Globe Awards. But what exactly are they? Reliable Oscar bellwether? Celebration of “the best and brightest of movies and television”? A chance to see Hollywood royalty drunk? The relatively loosey-goosey Globes tend to get much wilder and weirder than the Oscars (though they’re not […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #93

Posted June 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would […]

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Humour

Sunday Morning Funnies! # 6683

Posted February 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

This test is to ascertain your mental state now. If you get one right you are doing OK, if you get none right you better go for counseling. There are 4 questions. Don’t miss one. Giraffe Test 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Stop and think about it and decide on […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #672

Posted July 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland. Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will […]

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Humour

Sunday Morning Funnies: BOOBS

Posted March 16, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: A lot of the ladies are getting tired of having to listen to ‘dick’ jokes on the Internet ……………………………, so today we present “BOOB” jokes! Q: What is the origin of the word “Boob”? A: The “B” is the aerial view, the “oo” is the front view, the “b” is the side view. […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #77

Posted August 3, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Our teacher asked me what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning “Earth Day” Confusion!

Posted March 29, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I’m not a die hard tree hugger, so I’m turning my lights out for an hour between 2 – 3:00 P.M. today! ————————————————– Remember that kid molester in Thailand who thought he could avoid detection by “swirling” his face as a disguise…………………, only to find out they “un-swirled” his picture and caught him? WELL, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 33 1/3

Posted August 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

These are actual complaints received by a local travel agency! 1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.” 2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to […]

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