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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion: What population explosion?

Posted April 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks we got it all wrong. There is no population explosion! (Matter of fact, it’s the exact opposite bunky.) Look at it THIS WAY! Every person alive today has two parents. But they have four grandparents. And sixteen grandparents. SEE WHERE I’M GOING WITH THIS? We are getting less people with each generation, and with […]

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Passenger rail in Canada is in crisis

Posted April 7, 2014 by Craig Cantin

There has been a lot of attention of late to what moves on Canada’s rails. Train derailments, disasters such as Lac-Mégantic and near-disasters, such as the railcars loaded with toxic diluents that were suspended on a crumbling bridge over the Bow River during the June Calgary floods, have focused on the threat of unsafe rail […]

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Allan's Perspective

The next step in “Political Correctness” is here!

Posted April 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, we got trouble in River City! Or at least in the University of River city! For any of you that thought “political correctness” was stupid, GET A LOAD OF THIS! University students have come up with an even more bizarre and asinine concept called “TRIGGER WARNINGS!” (That’s right kids, from now on, anytime a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Nazi’s should not have sex with black people!

Posted March 31, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: See this woman? (You know her as the film industry’s Kitty Blair, star of the intrepid porn tale Kitty Discovers Sperm!) Kitty is also a candidate and spokesperson for a German right wing Nazi party known as the National Democratic Party of Germany. Only problem is that she was caught this week having sex […]

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Goodbye Afghanistan, Goodbye!

Posted March 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Today, for the first time in many years, we are no longer stuck in a hole called Afghanistan. Your much maligned reporter keeps saying we should just build a fence around the Middle-East and only take it down after everyone there has regained their senses, or killed themselves off, but we both know this is […]

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True freedom fighters welcome dissent – Be at peace Pete Seeger

Posted February 7, 2014 by Gordon Cawsey

The United States, in fact the entire world lost a great man when Pete Seeger died on January 27th of this year.  I was away and missed the news, only learning of the folk music legend’s passing yesterday.  For some reason I’ve been on someth…

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All these train derailments making pipelines an easier sell….

Posted January 9, 2014 by Gordon Cawsey

Lac Megantic, Alberta, North Dakota, New Brunswick…it seems we can’t go a week these days without a train tragedy happening involving rail cars carrying crude oil.  A buddy of mine brought this up, given that I’m admittedly something of a conspi…

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Charter of Québec values – Racist or pro-feminist?

Posted October 16, 2013 by Gordon Cawsey
There’s a bit of a divide in this Québec household, my wife and I disagree over Québec’s proposed values charter.  Given that you’re reading this I’ll assume you know about the proposed law, so I’ll refrain from rehashing it.  
My view is that this law is an ass and unenforceable, besides which it is inconsistent en tabernac. It allows the wearing of a “small” crucifix and does not include the removal of the very large crucifix hanging in Québec’s National Assembly.  So a huge crucifix remains in a public government place, and I guess we’ll have public employees going around with rulers to measure the size of crosses worn like jewelry. 
My wife views the wearing of a head scarf as another attempt by men to dominate women by forcing them to cover their heads.  I don’t disagree with her, yet I know there are Muslim women who wear the hijab of their own volition.  My issue is with enforcement.

What if a woman working in the public service wears a head scarf because of hair loss due to something like chemotherapy?  Is that head scarf okay because it doesn’t have any religious significance? Could a Muslim woman claim that the head covering she is wearing is about fashion and has nothing to do her faith?

Banning kippas and turbans?  I guess that was a requirement to avoid being totally inconsistent with this law. One couldn’t very well ban head scarves on women without the same type of measure being applied to men.
My view is it takes time, that legislation of this type won’t work. Women have been fighting an uphill battle to be treated equally for centuries.  Heck Québec women didn’t get the right to vote until 1940.  Muslim women suffering from a male dominated culture need to take up the battle themselves, as women did here with the suffrage movement.  Having the government telling citizens what they can and can’t wear on their heads is as bad as men doing the same thing with their wives and daughters.  

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When I am elected Pope‏

Posted March 12, 2013 by Gordon Cawsey
With the Cardinals now in Conclave, (I thought St. Louis had their spring training in Florida) I figured it would be a good idea to outline the initiatives I will enact when I become Pope. Yes, I know I’m not Roman Catholic and my election will represent something of a miracle. But then aren’t miracles what churches are supposed to be about?

Rome needs someone to lead, well Gordie is the man you need representing God. I will help the Vatican deal with many of the thorny issues it is now confronting.

Sexual abuse
Under my Papacy all those who bring forward allegations of abuse against RC priests will receive financial compensation. In fact I will take whatever amount is asked for and triple it. Some might scoff and claim this initiative will lead to bogus claims of abuse, and it probably will. But there was this guy a few years back who said something about giving to everyone who asks and to walk three miles when asked to go one. I think his name was Jesus. Will this bankrupt the church? Quite likely, and that brings me to the second plank in my Papal platform.

Cleaning up corruption
As everyone knows, money is always at the root of corruption scandals, even in churches. Get rid of the money and there’s no incentive to engage in nefarious scheming. Emptying the coffers and selling off buildings, real estate, relics and anything else of value to compensate for priests who sexually abused children will mean there is precious little do ré mi left.

Back when the Bible was being written a prohibition on homosexuality made sense. God’s directive back in ancient times was to be fruitful and multiply, which is hard to do for a species such as ours if those being fruitful are doing it in a, errr…fruity way. Now however there is no such imperative, and let’s face it, in the animal kingdom God created, homosexuality is rampant. Even with Pitt Bulls:

God is supposed to be forgiving, and all those priests tossed in jail for molesting boys shouldn’t have their punishment compounded by having certain leisure time activities behind bars labelled as sinful. And if a prison romance turns serious, shucks, I’ll let ‘em get married.

Birth Control
As noted previously, the be fruitful and multiply directive came out when the Earth’s population numbered just two, Adam and Eve. Under my leadership the Holy See will declare ‘Mission Accomplished’ on this whole multiplying idea. At seven billion or so I think we’ve overachieved on God’s plan, so condoms and birth control pills for all. Sorry but I don’t know how to pilot a fighter jet, so I won’t be able to do the GW Bush thing and land on an aircraft carrier to make this announcement. Instead well hang a vertical ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner from the obelisk in St. Peter’s square, a fitting gesture given that its a phallic symbol after all.

So there ya have it boys, the new and improved Roman Catholic Church as led by Pope Gordie. I’ll resign once the church is broke, provided you agree to replace me with a woman.

Shouldn’t take more than a year or two.

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Can the French language survive in Québec?

Posted February 11, 2013 by Gordon Cawsey
Bonjour mes chers lecteurs, greetings dear readers.  This blog posting comes to you from a Tim Hortons in the north end of Quebec City, one with wifi access.  I ordered myself a grande café with un crème and un edulcorant, I also had a beigne.  For those scratching their heads, that’s a large coffee with one cream and one sweetener, and a doughnut.
French in this part of Quebec is very much la langue de la rue, the language of the street.  Oh I still would have gotten my coffee and doughnut if I’d ordered them in English, but it would have been difficult, and I probably would have sugar instead of a substitute in my coffee, but I’m not diabetic so it wouldn’t threaten my health.  
For the here and now, the French language is a alive and well in Quebec.  But will it last?
You may have come across recent news about Québec’s PQ government looking to strip some municipalities of their bilingual status.  Having that status allows local governments to provide services and things like newsletters in both English and French. Removal of bilingual status would leave uni-lingual anglophones constantly in consultation with their French – English dictionaries.
Is this needed?  As with many things, it depends on your perspective.
French has been spoken in Québec for over 400 years, although I doubt Samuel de Champlain would recognize the variety I hear on a daily basis.  Comment vas-tu ‘la’ Sam?  French has evolved and adapted to our changing world, as it must.  But as we travel further and further into the hyper connected information age I can’t help but thinking that the French language is doomed in North America.  I’m not talking in my lifetime, or even the in the lifetimes of my children,  but maybe in another one hundred or so years.
I don’t think it can be stopped, but it can be slowed.  Initiatives like the removal of bilingual status from some jurisdictions, or limiting access to English schools, that will slow the erosion of the French language certainly.  But stop it?  I don’t think that’s possible.
The Québecois of today are different from their ancestors. Quebecers aren’t satisfied with being citizens of Québec, they aspire to be citizens of the world.  And given the provinces geographic position on the planet, its a ‘nation’ surrounded by the English language, and people are adapting.  
I’ve spoken to many parents who are worried about being able to enroll their children in an English school.  Like parents everywhere Quebecers want to give their children all the advantages possible in our increasingly competitive world.  And with the planet shrinking every day, parents realize that the door to opportunity opens easier with the language of Shakespeare than with that of Voltaire.

A candidate who speaks, reads and writes English perfectly will have a decided advantage over his French only competitor, although right now French is still essential in most of Quebec outside of Montreal.  

That’s not to say that there isn’t a value to bilingualism, it is a huge benefit.  Especially considering that French is going to be a fact in Quebec and in Canada for many years to come.
In this blogger’s opinion the PQ is fighting the good fight, but its a battle ultimately doomed to failure.   

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