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Sometimes it’s tough being a dad. As a father of four, and with three of them in their teenage years, it’s hard to find a moment in which at least one of the four won’t be mad at me for something I have said or done (or more importantly, something I have said ‘no’ to). Teenagers can be very sarcastic and hurtful, and it’s difficult for me not to be affected by some of the things they say when they are mad at me. While they immediately forget what they’ve said and go on with their lives, it takes way longer for me to come back. Days, sometimes even weeks.

Me and Gaby do everything for our children, and sometimes I feel our efforts are not appreciated enough. Gaby is by far the most unappreciated of the two, so many things the kids (and even me) assume she’s supposed to be in charge and take care of. It only takes for Gaby to feel sick for a day for the house to be upside down, with us five walking around not knowing what to do next.

I think I am a good father. I provide for my family, and I’m there for them in everything they do and need. I put them and their needs over myself and my own needs all the time, and won’t hesitate to drive them anywhere or stay up helping them with school stuff or whatever is that they need. I’m present at every important event in their daily lives, regardless of the effort and accommodations I have to make. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not portraying myself as a martyr, I do all that because I love my children and I love being a dad.

But sometimes, only sometimes, I don’t like something and I say ‘no’. And it’s amazing to see how fast the memory of all the good things we have done together disappears. Suddenly, I’m an ogre, I’m unreasonable, I’m just an ass. That’s just how it is with teens.

One day I heard one of my kids say “I can’t wait until I’m 18″. What would be the meaning of that? I can’t wait until I can do whatever I want with my life? I can’t wait until I escape this ruthless dictatorship? I can’t wait until I am able to make my own decisions and do whatever I feel is best for me?

I’m not sure what the meaning of that sentence was, but what parent of teenagers has not heard it yet? Now if the meaning of that is somewhat related to any of my interpretations above, I could say that there will come a time in which our kids will miss having parents who care for them and are there for them all the time. I know it because I never had that growing up. If the only reason for my kid to want to be 18 and leave is the one thing I actually said ‘no’ to, then we might have other problems I’m not currently aware of.

I still think that I’m a good father, but I know that by the time I’m able to process what has been said to me during an argument and the issue is history already, as teenagers have an amazing capacity to move on, I will still be hurt.

A veces es difícil ser padre. Con cuatro hijos, y tres de ellos en plena adolescencia, es difícil to encontrar un momento en el que al menos uno de ellos no esté enojado conmigo por algo que yo haya hecho o dicho (o más importante, algo a lo que haya dicho que no). Los adolescentes suelen ser sarcásticos y cortantes, y es raro que a mí no me afecten las cosas que me dicen cuando se enojan conmigo. Pero si bien ellos enseguida se olvidan del asunto y siguen con sus vidas como si nada, a mí me lleva más tiempo recuperarme. Días, a veces hasta semanas.

Gaby y yo hacemos todo por nuestros hijos, y a veces –como todo padre- siento que nuestros esfuerzos no son reconocidos como debieran. Gaby es por mucho la menos apreciada de los dos, hay tantas cosas de las que los chicos (y yo) asumen que ella se va a ocupar! Sólo hace falta que Gaby se enferme y esté un día en cama para que la casa sea un soberano quilombo, con nosotros cinco dando vueltas sin saber qué hacer.

Yo creo que soy un buen padre. Me ocupo de mi familia, y estoy con ellos para todo lo que hacen y necesitan. Pongo a ellos y sus necesidades por encima de mí mismo y mis necesidades, y no dudo nunca en quedarme hasta cualquier hora ayudándolos con cosas de la escuela o lo que sea. Estoy presente en todos los eventos importantes de sus vidas, sin importar el esfuerzo o los arreglos que tenga que hacer. No me malinterpreten, que no me estoy poniendo en mártir. Hago todo eso porque amo a mis hijos y me encanta ser padre.

Pero a veces, sólo a veces, hay algo que no me gusta y digo ‘no’. Y es increíble ver lo rápido que desaparece el recuerdo de todas esas cosas lindas que hemos hecho juntos. De golpe, soy un ogro, soy irracional, soy una verdadera basura. Así es con los teenagers, no?

Una vez escuché a uno de mis hijos decir “No puedo esperar a tener 18”. Qué significaría eso? Que no puede esperar a hacer lo que se le antoje con su vida? Que no podía esperar para escaparse de esta dictadura tan sanguinaria? Que por fín iba a poder tomar sus propias decisiones y hacer lo que le pareciera mejor?

No sé cuál habrá sido el significado, pero qué padre de adolescentes no ha escuchado esas frases? Si el sentido de lo que dijo se relacionaba con mi interpretación, podría decir que va a llegar un tiempo en el que nuestros hijos van a extrañar tener padres que se ocupen de ellos y los acompañen todo el tiempo. Lo sé porque yo no tuve eso cuando tenía su edad. Si la única razón para que mis hijos se quieran ir de casa a los 18 son las cosas a las que he dicho que no, entonces tenemos otros problemas que aún desconozco.

Sigo creyendo que soy un buen padre, pero también sé que para cuando sea capaz de procesar lo que se me ha  dicho durante una discusión y el tema ya no sea un problema, con esa capacidad asombrosa que tienen los adolescentes de dejar las cosas atrás, yo todavía voy a estar dolido.

Sometimes it’s tough being a dad. As a father of four, and with three of them in their teenage years, it’s hard to find a moment in which at least one of the four won’t be mad at me for something I have said or done (or more importantly, something I have said ‘no’ to). Teenagers can be very sarcastic and hurtful, and it’s difficult for me not to be affected by some of the things they say when they are mad at me. While they immediately forget what they’ve said and go on with their lives, it takes way longer for me to come back. Days, sometimes even weeks.

Me and Gaby do everything for our children, and sometimes I feel our efforts are not appreciated enough. Gaby is by far the most unappreciated of the two, so many things the kids (and even me) assume she’s supposed to be in charge and take care of. It only takes for Gaby to feel sick for a day for the house to be upside down, with us five walking around not knowing what to do next.

I think I am a good father. I provide for my family, and I’m there for them in everything they do and need. I put them and their needs over myself and my own needs all the time, and won’t hesitate to drive them anywhere or stay up helping them with school stuff or whatever is that they need. I’m present at every important event in their daily lives, regardless of the effort and accommodations I have to make. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not portraying myself as a martyr, I do all that because I love my children and I love being a dad.

But sometimes, only sometimes, I don’t like something and I say ‘no’. And it’s amazing to see how fast the memory of all the good things we have done together disappears. Suddenly, I’m an ogre, I’m unreasonable, I’m just an ass. That’s just how it is with teens.

One day I heard one of my kids say “I can’t wait until I’m 18″. What would be the meaning of that? I can’t wait until I can do whatever I want with my life? I can’t wait until I escape this ruthless dictatorship? I can’t wait until I am able to make my own decisions and do whatever I feel is best for me?

I’m not sure what the meaning of that sentence was, but what parent of teenagers has not heard it yet? Now if the meaning of that is somewhat related to any of my interpretations above, I could say that there will come a time in which our kids will miss having parents who care for them and are there for them all the time. I know it because I never had that growing up. If the only reason for my kid to want to be 18 and leave is the one thing I actually said ‘no’ to, then we might have other problems I’m not currently aware of.

I still think that I’m a good father, but I know that by the time I’m able to process what has been said to me during an argument and the issue is history already, as teenagers have an amazing capacity to move on, I will still be hurt.

A veces es difícil ser padre. Con cuatro hijos, y tres de ellos en plena adolescencia, es difícil to encontrar un momento en el que al menos uno de ellos no esté enojado conmigo por algo que yo haya hecho o dicho (o más importante, algo a lo que haya dicho que no). Los adolescentes suelen ser sarcásticos y cortantes, y es raro que a mí no me afecten las cosas que me dicen cuando se enojan conmigo. Pero si bien ellos enseguida se olvidan del asunto y siguen con sus vidas como si nada, a mí me lleva más tiempo recuperarme. Días, a veces hasta semanas.

Gaby y yo hacemos todo por nuestros hijos, y a veces –como todo padre- siento que nuestros esfuerzos no son reconocidos como debieran. Gaby es por mucho la menos apreciada de los dos, hay tantas cosas de las que los chicos (y yo) asumen que ella se va a ocupar! Sólo hace falta que Gaby se enferme y esté un día en cama para que la casa sea un soberano quilombo, con nosotros cinco dando vueltas sin saber qué hacer.

Yo creo que soy un buen padre. Me ocupo de mi familia, y estoy con ellos para todo lo que hacen y necesitan. Pongo a ellos y sus necesidades por encima de mí mismo y mis necesidades, y no dudo nunca en quedarme hasta cualquier hora ayudándolos con cosas de la escuela o lo que sea. Estoy presente en todos los eventos importantes de sus vidas, sin importar el esfuerzo o los arreglos que tenga que hacer. No me malinterpreten, que no me estoy poniendo en mártir. Hago todo eso porque amo a mis hijos y me encanta ser padre.

Pero a veces, sólo a veces, hay algo que no me gusta y digo ‘no’. Y es increíble ver lo rápido que desaparece el recuerdo de todas esas cosas lindas que hemos hecho juntos. De golpe, soy un ogro, soy irracional, soy una verdadera basura. Así es con los teenagers, no?

Una vez escuché a uno de mis hijos decir “No puedo esperar a tener 18”. Qué significaría eso? Que no puede esperar a hacer lo que se le antoje con su vida? Que no podía esperar para escaparse de esta dictadura tan sanguinaria? Que por fín iba a poder tomar sus propias decisiones y hacer lo que le pareciera mejor?

No sé cuál habrá sido el significado, pero qué padre de adolescentes no ha escuchado esas frases? Si el sentido de lo que dijo se relacionaba con mi interpretación, podría decir que va a llegar un tiempo en el que nuestros hijos van a extrañar tener padres que se ocupen de ellos y los acompañen todo el tiempo. Lo sé porque yo no tuve eso cuando tenía su edad. Si la única razón para que mis hijos se quieran ir de casa a los 18 son las cosas a las que he dicho que no, entonces tenemos otros problemas que aún desconozco.

Sigo creyendo que soy un buen padre, pero también sé que para cuando sea capaz de procesar lo que se me ha  dicho durante una discusión y el tema ya no sea un problema, con esa capacidad asombrosa que tienen los adolescentes de dejar las cosas atrás, yo todavía voy a estar dolido.

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What happens when mom is blind? A new study shows that the children of sightless mothers develop healthy communication skills and can even outstrip the children of parents with normal vision.