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General

Why My Kid Is My Life Coach

Posted March 18, 2015 by Anonymous

Some people go to great lengths to find a life coach: someone who really understands and can help focus them to achieve their goals. I feel like I’m at a crossroad in my life and I was thinking I could […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 32

Posted April 12, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

A man turns to his wife in bed and whispers “Did you know it’s National Orgasm Day?” “Oh, what a pity,” she smiled, “Right in the middle of National Headache Week !!” ———————————— SENIOR TRYING TO SET PASSWORD WINDOWS: Please enter your new password: USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 […]

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Entertainment

What Happens When You Give Kids Unlimited Candy?

Posted October 30, 2014 by Anonymous

All hell breaks loose, that’s what happens! As if we didn’t already know, kids + sugar = crazy times. But in an attempt to remind us all how important it is to keep our kids’ pearly whites clean during this […]

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Allan's Perspective

Goodbye!

Posted April 26, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers……., and friends! It has been an interesting time, as well as a time that saw major changes in my personal and working life, but now it is time to let others take on the responsibility of populating these pages with interesting and informative news and gossip. Ben Clarke is the new owner of […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion # 477

Posted April 25, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: There is a lot of confusion about whether Monty Python is really funny …………., or not! What I mean is that some sketches like “The dead Parrot” are among the funniest things I have ever seen, and some other stuff is just plain stupid. BUT. I have to admit that when they ARE funny, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies! #7768

Posted November 16, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY “THOMAS COOK VACATIONS” FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS : 1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.” 2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I […]

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Entertainment

Watch As This 4-Year-Old Boy’s Dream Comes True

Posted December 9, 2014 by Anonymous

Cuteness overload. UPS has just released a commercial that is sure to bring all those happy tears to the surface. Carson is a four-year-old boy from Colorado Springs, CO and more than anything else in the world, Carson loves the […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 53

Posted March 15, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

A New Brunswick man was stopped by a game warden in Northern NB recently, with two ice chests full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?” “Naw, my friend, I ain’t got no license. […]

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General

She Lies To Me: A Parenting Anthem

Posted February 4, 2015 by Anonymous

Sometimes I think about what the soundtrack of my parenting. I admit that some days it would be that 54-40 hit, She Lies To Me. I always swore that I would never lie to my children. My parents lied to […]

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Entertainment

Professional Hockey Players Dress Up As The Cast Of Frozen

Posted October 28, 2014 by Anonymous

Say what you will about Frozen and “Let It Go”, but that movie has made a huge difference in the lives of children everywhere. Case in point, the kids at the Boston Children’s Hospital. Members of the Boston Bruins made […]

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Allan's Perspective

Ya had to be there!

Posted October 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Two hillbillies walked into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talked about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table who is eating a sandwich, began to cough. After a minute or so, it became apparent that she was in real distress. One of the hillbillies looked at her and […]

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Christmas

Reese Witherspoon Reveals Her Own Take On The “Wreath Witherspoon”

Posted December 26, 2014 by Anonymous

We love it when a celebrity can poke fun at themselves. Oftentimes, they seem so unattainable; but every now and then a celebrity steps forward and joins in on a bit of friendly teasing. Wild actress Reese Witherspoon did just […]

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General

The Life Lesson Class Is In!

Posted November 11, 2014 by Sara

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m constantly amazed by the stuff that comes out of Will’s mouth. My #1 wish is that I could take a peek inside of there and see what is driving that little […]

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Entertainment

2014: UrbanMoms’ Year In Review

Posted December 30, 2014 by Anonymous

As we approach a brand new year (can you believe we’re only three days away?), we wanted to take a look back at some of the biggest moments of 2014. So join us in a look back at the moments […]

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General

Grocery Shopping Alone: How Parenting Has Changed Me

Posted March 11, 2015 by Anonymous

The evidence was staring me right in the face. Parenting has changed me. It’s not just that I can’t respond to a question with “Everything is awesome” without getting that stupid song stuck in my head. Under “Things Mom Likes […]

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General

No Girls Allowed

Posted April 1, 2015 by Anonymous

“No girls allowed.” That’s what the sign said, propped up against the opening of my son’s makeshift fort. He was curled up in there with his Chromebook, a lamp and a bowl of snacks. He was in his “boy cave”, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Evening Funnies!

Posted October 26, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Your ever forgetful reporter had a bout of Al’s Heimers this morning and forgot to print the Sunday Morning Funnies, ……………… ! So I am doing it Sunday evening instead! Since Tomorrow is an election day in Ontario I thought this short story would be appropriate! And THIS, ladies and Gentlemen, brings us […]

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Entertainment

Second Graders Treated to Gourmet, Seven-Course Tasting Menu at Fancy New York Restaurant

Posted October 17, 2014 by Anonymous

Last month, six second graders from a Brooklyn school were treated to a seven-course tasting menu at French restaurant Daniel, one of New York’s most upscale restaurants. The meal was worth a total of $220 (per person!), but the kids […]

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General

Beepocalypse Now

Posted February 23, 2015 by kate@smalldeadanimals.com

What’s Going on With Canadian Honeybees? (h/t Kevin B)…

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Entertainment

Sitting Down With Cinderella: An Interview With Danielle Wade

Posted November 10, 2014 by Sonya

Ross Petty and his production team are getting ready for the 19th annual holiday family musical. We can’t wait to see what antics are in store in the new CINDERELLA, The Gags To Riches Family Musical. If you haven’t experienced a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #552

Posted December 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers Now that Christmas is over and done with: IF YOU SAW A FAT MAN Who’s jolly and cute, Wearing a beard, and a red flannel suit, And if he is chuckling and laughing away, While flying around in a miniature sleigh, With eight tiny reindeer to pull him along, Then let’s face it… […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 59

Posted March 8, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check- out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So which six items would you like to buy?” (Wouldn’t it be great […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #774

Posted April 5, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

If men were in charge of weddings 1. There would be a “Rehearsal Kegger” rather than a “Rehearsal Dinner.” 2. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jeans cutoffs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines. 3. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. (My […]

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General

Terrorist Negotiations And Spaghetti Squash

Posted February 11, 2015 by Anonymous

Not negotiating with terrorists seemed reasonable until I went and had a baby. As an infant, my son would hold hostage my bedtime. His witching hour was around 2 am, which gave me the illusion of a dilemma between watching […]

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Entertainment

Barbie Is A Computer Engineer. Well, Kind Of…

Posted November 20, 2014 by Anonymous

In her fifty years of existence, Barbie has had over 150 careers. Even with her insane body proportions and unattainable beauty standards, Barbie has always had one thing going for her: she could do anything. In 1973, she was a […]

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General

What the Fug: Kate Mara in Dior

Posted February 4, 2016 by heather

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The Dior press release for this outfit essentially described it as having two skirts. Which is odd, because barely see ONE. It looks like a half-finished special effect from a movie that ran out of funding. Which, given where she is… cheeky, Kate! Cheeky. Read More …

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #11

Posted November 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of […]

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Entertainment

Best Viral Videos Of 2014: Cute Kids Edition

Posted December 29, 2014 by Anonymous

As we approach the new year, it’s always fun to look back at some of the year’s most viral videos. Notably the adorable and funny children that captured our hearts and took over our newsfeeds in the process. From the […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #79

Posted September 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A few different views of marriage! It’s Nice to Have a Husband By Your Side Over the years, When the sink overflowed, Or the car ran out of gas, Or the lady who comes every Tuesday to clean didn’t come, Or I felt pudgy, Or misunderstood, Or inferior to Marilyn Kaufman who is not only […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #897

Posted March 29, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter, 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave; otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren’t able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. […]

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General

Growing A Child Freaked Me Out!

Posted February 12, 2015 by Sara

There are a few things in this life that I struggle to wrap my head around. First off, thinking about dying and having the world go on without me. I don’t mean this in a ‘I’m the King of the […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies! #795

Posted November 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the […]

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General

What the Fug: Busy Philipps

Posted February 4, 2016 by heather

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I love Busy Philipps, but this outfit is cuckoo. If she were the head flight attendant for Avon Airlines, selling you sensible cosmetics while you fly — which you will buy, because there is no movie, or snacks, and instead of a tray table there’s a large mirror. She also uses words like “skinpossible” and “spirit spa” Read More …

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Christmas

Christmas Is HOW Many Days Away?

Posted November 6, 2014 by Anonymous

I received a very alarming email this morning. I was going about my day, dealing with an overflowing inbox (as per usual) when Outlook informed me I had a brand new message. “There are only 49 days until Christmas!” the […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies – 72

Posted December 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

One day, a little girl asked her father, “How did the human race start?” The father answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made.” Next day, the little girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered, “Many years ago, there were monkeys, from which the […]

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Entertainment

Baby’s Reaction To His First Dandelion Is Hilarious

Posted April 27, 2015 by Anonymous

What did we do with our kids before smartphones and the internet? And what did we do with our free time before babies, smartphones and the internet came together  in perfect harmony to give us gems like this one? Vlogger […]

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General

Made From Scratch Vs. Out Of The Box

Posted March 25, 2015 by Anonymous

I think all kids are a bit weird about food. Mine was particularly weird about food the other day. He asked me where black toast comes from. I told him that’s what happens when you burn breakfast. It was a […]

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General

The Funniest Parenting Tweets: Dad Edition

Posted February 26, 2015 by Anonymous

Parenting isn’t always graceful. At some point, parents stop being polite and start getting real. However, instead of having their lives taped, they take to Twitter to air out their feelings about their tiny little permanent roommates. Here are some […]

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Entertainment

Photographer Captures Life Of Parents In Amazing Series

Posted January 8, 2015 by Anonymous

Thanks to Pinterest, Instagram and pro iPhone photographers all over the world, we are often presented with idyllic versions of parenthood that leave us wondering why, oh why, is Junior having a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store? […]

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Entertainment

2-Year-Old ‘Celebrates’ Arrival Of Newborn Sister With Epic Tantrum

Posted February 10, 2015 by Anonymous

Not everyone gets excited over the idea of being an older sibling. And some of them definitely aren’t afraid to show it. It looks like little 2-year-old Piper was more than happy being an only child, because as soon she found […]

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