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Entertainment

Kids Are Becoming Narcissists & It’s All Our Fault

Posted March 12, 2015 by Anonymous

Not only are we making our kids materialistic, it seems we may also be turning them into narcissists. (Geeze, can’t we get anything right?!) A new study published in the journal PNAS found a direct correlation between narcissism in children […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 2645

Posted March 22, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.” “Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.” […]

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Allan's Perspective

Ya had to be there!

Posted October 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Two hillbillies walked into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talked about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table who is eating a sandwich, began to cough. After a minute or so, it became apparent that she was in real distress. One of the hillbillies looked at her and […]

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General

my power is going to your head

Posted March 16, 2015 by raymi

Hey guys, now where were we because I have no clue. Never cut a blog post in half if you are a Raymi Lauren because when you get back into it you’ll just be lost. Lots has happened in the four days since I last blogged. I dumped my bf because I am done with […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #31

Posted November 2, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Truly a miracle. According to the Bible, Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Palestine. A country where people are named Mohammed, Abdul, Mounir, Aziz, Ahmed, Farid, Omar, Youssouf, Mouloud, etc. And yet He managed to find 12 friends called John, Peter, Paul, Phillip, Mark, Thomas, Luke, Mathew, Andrew and Simon …… who all drank wine! […]

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Entertainment

2014: UrbanMoms’ Year In Review

Posted December 30, 2014 by Anonymous

As we approach a brand new year (can you believe we’re only three days away?), we wanted to take a look back at some of the biggest moments of 2014. So join us in a look back at the moments […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 77

Posted October 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Late last fall, the Indians on the Aamjiwnaang First Nation reservation in Grand Bend asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell […]

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Allan's Perspective

Tit for Tat!

Posted March 20, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

It all started when a woman got out of line inside an Athens convenience store, according to police. The 28-year-old man behind her moved up to the counter to pay for his purchases, he told police. But when the woman came back, she was irritated the man had moved ahead of her, and she let […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion #27,680

Posted March 21, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Well folks, are ya confused enough yet? Then read on with these files from the Naked News Department: ————————————— Authorities in Minnesota say three would-be robbers picked the wrong time to pocket-dial 911. Blue Earth Sheriff’s Capt. Rich Murry says a dispatcher took the call early Thursday morning and heard two voices on the other […]

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Entertainment

Second Graders Treated to Gourmet, Seven-Course Tasting Menu at Fancy New York Restaurant

Posted October 17, 2014 by Anonymous

Last month, six second graders from a Brooklyn school were treated to a seven-course tasting menu at French restaurant Daniel, one of New York’s most upscale restaurants. The meal was worth a total of $220 (per person!), but the kids […]

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General

Raymi steps

Posted March 24, 2015 by raymi

big day yesterday bruh! Just watched my segments. Now I know how to improve my news delivery. Seeing is believing. There’s a caption contest going ’round about me right meow. Throw your two cents in if you wanna. My suggestion is Party on Rayme, naturally. Can I win my own caption contest? Ahahha. More later […]

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Adult

Exclusive photo’s of Jian Ghomeshi on a date!

Posted October 31, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Once again, ya saw it here first! After a great amount of trouble and expense, the Perspective Naked News staff , a branch of the Perspective Research Department, has managed to obtain this clip of Jian Ghomeshi on a recent date with one of the women now accusing him of assault. As you […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #552

Posted December 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers Now that Christmas is over and done with: IF YOU SAW A FAT MAN Who’s jolly and cute, Wearing a beard, and a red flannel suit, And if he is chuckling and laughing away, While flying around in a miniature sleigh, With eight tiny reindeer to pull him along, Then let’s face it… […]

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General

5 Things I’ve Learned Today

Posted January 28, 2015 by Sara

This morning, Will taught me a couple things and I had an ‘a-ha’ parenting moment. I thought I’d take a minute to share because any one of these things could prove useful to you as you start your day. 1. […]

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General

Why My Kid Is My Life Coach

Posted March 18, 2015 by Anonymous

Some people go to great lengths to find a life coach: someone who really understands and can help focus them to achieve their goals. I feel like I’m at a crossroad in my life and I was thinking I could […]

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Allan's Perspective

Safari!

Posted March 24, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

A Husband and wife were on safari: Wife- If that cheetah catches that deer and kills it, I’m going to be absolutely heartbroken. Husband- that’s nature. Don’t go against it. Cheetah has to kill it to eat and survive. Wife- do something. Husband – what can I do? Wife- if the deer dies I’ll call […]

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Entertainment

Barbie Is A Computer Engineer. Well, Kind Of…

Posted November 20, 2014 by Anonymous

In her fifty years of existence, Barbie has had over 150 careers. Even with her insane body proportions and unattainable beauty standards, Barbie has always had one thing going for her: she could do anything. In 1973, she was a […]

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Entertainment

What Happens When You Give Kids Unlimited Candy?

Posted October 30, 2014 by Anonymous

All hell breaks loose, that’s what happens! As if we didn’t already know, kids + sugar = crazy times. But in an attempt to remind us all how important it is to keep our kids’ pearly whites clean during this […]

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Entertainment

Best Viral Videos Of 2014: Cute Kids Edition

Posted December 29, 2014 by Anonymous

As we approach the new year, it’s always fun to look back at some of the year’s most viral videos. Notably the adorable and funny children that captured our hearts and took over our newsfeeds in the process. From the […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies! #7768

Posted November 16, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY “THOMAS COOK VACATIONS” FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS : 1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.” 2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 53

Posted March 15, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

A New Brunswick man was stopped by a game warden in Northern NB recently, with two ice chests full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?” “Naw, my friend, I ain’t got no license. […]

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Entertainment

Dads Strap 33 Pounds To Themselves To Experience Pregnancy

Posted March 2, 2015 by Anonymous

3 Pregnant Dads: Week 1 from The Book of Everyone on Vimeo. Three dads have taken on the challenge of wearing 33lb pregnancy suits, the average weight of a full-term baby belly, to find out what it’s like to be an expectant […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies! #795

Posted November 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the […]

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Entertainment

Professional Hockey Players Dress Up As The Cast Of Frozen

Posted October 28, 2014 by Anonymous

Say what you will about Frozen and “Let It Go”, but that movie has made a huge difference in the lives of children everywhere. Case in point, the kids at the Boston Children’s Hospital. Members of the Boston Bruins made […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies – 72

Posted December 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

One day, a little girl asked her father, “How did the human race start?” The father answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made.” Next day, the little girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered, “Many years ago, there were monkeys, from which the […]

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General

The Life Lesson Class Is In!

Posted November 11, 2014 by Sara

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m constantly amazed by the stuff that comes out of Will’s mouth. My #1 wish is that I could take a peek inside of there and see what is driving that little […]

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General

Grocery Shopping Alone: How Parenting Has Changed Me

Posted March 11, 2015 by Anonymous

The evidence was staring me right in the face. Parenting has changed me. It’s not just that I can’t respond to a question with “Everything is awesome” without getting that stupid song stuck in my head. Under “Things Mom Likes […]

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Comedy

5 to 7 is a Romantic Affair

Posted March 19, 2015 by Anonymous

  Synopsis: A young novelist develops an extramarital relationship with a diplomat’s wife.      We are about to enter the spring of Yelchin. It all begins with 5 to 7,…

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Entertainment

Photographer Captures Life Of Parents In Amazing Series

Posted January 8, 2015 by Anonymous

Thanks to Pinterest, Instagram and pro iPhone photographers all over the world, we are often presented with idyllic versions of parenthood that leave us wondering why, oh why, is Junior having a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store? […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Evening Funnies!

Posted October 26, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Your ever forgetful reporter had a bout of Al’s Heimers this morning and forgot to print the Sunday Morning Funnies, ……………… ! So I am doing it Sunday evening instead! Since Tomorrow is an election day in Ontario I thought this short story would be appropriate! And THIS, ladies and Gentlemen, brings us […]

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General

Missing Naps & Car Keys While Always Running Late

Posted December 17, 2014 by Anonymous

The day my child was born, I noticed he looked vaguely like a turtle. He had a round little face on a poky little neck. That resemblance was later reflected in his approach to punctuality. Through the process of learning […]

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Entertainment

Sitting Down With Cinderella: An Interview With Danielle Wade

Posted November 10, 2014 by Sonya

Ross Petty and his production team are getting ready for the 19th annual holiday family musical. We can’t wait to see what antics are in store in the new CINDERELLA, The Gags To Riches Family Musical. If you haven’t experienced a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 59

Posted March 8, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check- out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So which six items would you like to buy?” (Wouldn’t it be great […]

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Christmas

Reese Witherspoon Reveals Her Own Take On The “Wreath Witherspoon”

Posted December 26, 2014 by Anonymous

We love it when a celebrity can poke fun at themselves. Oftentimes, they seem so unattainable; but every now and then a celebrity steps forward and joins in on a bit of friendly teasing. Wild actress Reese Witherspoon did just […]

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Entertainment

Watch As Parents Talk To Kids About The Birds & Bees

Posted January 8, 2015 by Anonymous

It is always a bit of an awkward conversation, when we decide to have “The Talk” with our kids. When a discussion about where babies come from gets going, it can get a bit uncomfortable not just for the kids […]

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General

Terrorist Negotiations And Spaghetti Squash

Posted February 11, 2015 by Anonymous

Not negotiating with terrorists seemed reasonable until I went and had a baby. As an infant, my son would hold hostage my bedtime. His witching hour was around 2 am, which gave me the illusion of a dilemma between watching […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #2213

Posted November 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The Male Cycle: When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #11

Posted November 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #79

Posted September 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A few different views of marriage! It’s Nice to Have a Husband By Your Side Over the years, When the sink overflowed, Or the car ran out of gas, Or the lady who comes every Tuesday to clean didn’t come, Or I felt pudgy, Or misunderstood, Or inferior to Marilyn Kaufman who is not only […]

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General

Beepocalypse Now

Posted February 23, 2015 by kate@smalldeadanimals.com

What’s Going on With Canadian Honeybees? (h/t Kevin B)…

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