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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion About Censorship!

Posted October 18, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: As you know, your often maligned reporter goes on rants and raves about stuff that seems grossly unfair, unjust, or just plain ridiculous. I have campaigned against the far left, far right, feminists, (especially the femi-nazi’s) special interest groups, animals lovers and vegetarians, bigots, racists, survivalists, cops, minorities, immigrants, liberals and conservatives, lobbyists, […]

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Allan's Perspective

I will NOT be censored or silenced!

Posted October 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, this article was originally called “We got trouble in River City,” and for good reason! The politically correct crowd has taken over the asylum and woe to anyone who gets in their way! Your often maligned reporter wrote an article a few months ago about the injustices and inequities in this world, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Maybe there is a conspiracy after all!

Posted October 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I have been a conspiracy de-bunker for many years now, but there is one thing that just might be true! I’m not talking about the bullshit concerning 9/11, or aliens and UFO’s, or who killed JFK, or the moon landings! NO! What I’m talking about is 100% proof-positive, boys and girls. I’m talking about […]

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Allan's Perspective

And a banana for your monkey!

Posted October 7, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Now here’s a case straight out of “Planet of the Apes,” or perhaps a poster child for the group “people for the ethical treatment of animals!” (PETA) The case of Tommy the pet chimpanzee goes back to court this week, and a group of judges could decide whether he should be recognized as a “person” […]

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Allan's Perspective

Car 54, someone stole a balloon!

Posted October 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A balloon lifts off over the crowd in the early morning during the annual Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, N.M. Saturday, Oct. 4, 2014. Organizers have equipped all 550 pilots with tablet computers capable of running a mapping application that will enable them to steer clear of the many restricted areas or prohibited zones […]

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Activism

Saturday Morning Confusion # 88

Posted October 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

“Some men just want to watch the world burn!” Folks, I don’t know if it’s just me and I’m missing something, or perhaps there is an agenda I’m not aware of, or maybe even a point about human psychology that is foreign to me, but I’m really confused about these Islamic radicals and what they’re […]

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Allan's Perspective

“Asshole of the Day” two for one sale!

Posted October 3, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Talk about yer “Asshole of the Day,” folks. We have another two for one sale! Sometimes, a simple plan works best if you’re a criminal. And sometimes, that plan to shove $1,200 worth of meat down your pants and walk out of a supermarket undetected doesn’t end so well. Police have charged Gregory Rodriguez with […]

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Allan's Perspective

How to get smart!

Posted October 2, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We’ve all heard the phrase “knowledge is power.” The more knowledge you can acquire, the more power and ability you have to take on life’s problems. The problem, though, isn’t how much knowledge is out there, but how curious you are and how willing you are to go get it. Curiosity may have killed the […]

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Allan's Perspective

B.C. teacher suspended for prank!

Posted September 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We have a brand new “Asshole of the Day” for ya, folks. A Langley, B.C., teacher has been suspended over a homophobic prank he played on a Grade 11 student in class last year. Daniel Mark Ogloff is a metal fabrication and machining teacher at Aldergrove Community Secondary School. On Sept. 24, 2013, Ogloff wrote […]

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Allan's Perspective

O.M.G.

Posted September 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

O.M.G. kids, we had that alien with three tits in the last post………., now you tell me that this doesn’t look like the most vile, disgusting, give you nightmares and make you throw up in your hat ALIEN that you’ve ever seen! And yet it’s just a plain ol’ octopus! (So just imagine what a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Asshole of the Day!

Posted September 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A human rights lawyer is raising concern about the federal government’s plan to strip Canadian passports of those suspected of traveling abroad to join extremist groups. Citizenship and Immigration Canada has confirmed it is “revoking and refusing passports to those going abroad to take part in terrorist activities.” Lorne Waldman, the head of the Canadian […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion about Islam?

Posted September 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, there is so much being written about Islam lately that I thought you might like to understand this religion a little better, and see why they do the things they do! (Basically the Muslim Faith was conceived in violence, and propagated in violence, so is it any wonder they do stuff like […]

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Allan's Perspective

U.S. at War again!

Posted September 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

In the past it was the “war on poverty” and the “war on drugs” etc. etc. and now the United States has gone to war again twice in one week! In a surprise move President Obama yesterday declared a “War on Ebola” and a “War on ISIS!” According to the Perspective Research Department, (see below) […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Religious News!

Posted September 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The Reason Why The Kurds Are Sending All-Women Units to Fight ISIS is AWESOME! I guess it’s sort of like a a ritualistic castration! -Ed.

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion about the five worst movies at TIFF!

Posted September 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Thanks to the folks over at “Blog TO” for giving us this heads-up about the five movies not to see at TIFF. Posted by Alexander Huls Not everything at TIFF can be great. Given the volume of movies that appear at the festival, everything being good would be statistically impossible. You’re always bound to see […]

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Allan's Perspective

Vancouver has one hell of a problem!

Posted September 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Hey kids, it must have stopped raining in Vancouver because everybody has found something else to bitch about besides the weather! Vancouver residents were only able to view a lewd Satan statue for a few hours before it was gone, but now a new petition is trying to bring it back. The three-metre tall red, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Another one “bites the dust!”

Posted September 11, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Richard Kiel is the latest Hollywood celebrity to kick the bucket, or in this case, “bites the dust!” [sic] Kiel’s most memorable stints were as villains in shows such as The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and The Wild Wild West, and in films like The Longest Yard and Silver Streak. But Kiel would ultimately be defined […]

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Allan's Perspective

Westward Ho!

Posted September 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is important! Aside from the historical aspects, the discovery of a ship from the Franklin expedition will do wonders to strengthen our claim on the ARCTIC! Yup, we were up thee rooting around, and disturbing the Eskimo’s, hundreds of years ago. Canadian explorers were looking for the North-West passage long before […]

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Indignation and retraction!

Posted August 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well kids, the nuts have taken over the asylum again! The University of Western Ontario student newspaper “The Gazette” printed a few articles in the Frosh issue that pissed of the feminists and a bunch of other politically correct assholes, and instead of telling them to go to hell ………………………, THEY APOLOGIZED! Now I haven’t […]

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Allan's Perspective

Winnipeg makes the six o’clock news!

Posted August 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Look folks, your ever helpful reporter is getting tired about all the bitchin’ and complainin’ over how poorly we cover news from Manitoba…………………., so hopefully this will shut a few of you up! The public is advised that the railway crossing on Panet Road between Molson Street and Munroe Avenue will be closed from 8:00 […]

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Allan's Perspective

We got trouble in River City folks!

Posted August 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers; I should warn you from the get-go that this article will not be politically correct or even nice! It might even border on the racist and elitist according to some, but I am going to say things that need to be said! Ya see, these last few weeks is one of those periods […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion: Asshole of the Week!

Posted August 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Every time we give out one of our “Asshole’ trophy’s, I think to myself, “boy, it’s gonna be hard to top that one!” And then, the next thing ya know, without any warning or “how-DE-do,” along comes someone else who raises the bar to new levels of “assholeness” and blows my theory apart! […]

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Allan's Perspective

Quebec goes it alone!

Posted August 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

I assume you are all familiar with Internet domain names? For example, since this site is Canadian, our web address is BlogsCanada.ca WELL! Those pesky French didn’t like the “.ca” stuff, so starting this fall there will be a “.quebec” address as well! Good for them …………………………, stay there! ——————————————— HitchBOT left Halifax in late […]

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Allan's Perspective

First he is, then he ain’t, now he is again!

Posted August 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Though very much alive, Donald Miller Jr. is still legally a dead man … and yet now his daughters are being hit up for $47,000 in Social Security benefits they received as teens because of his death, the AP reports. It all started when Miller, a jobless alcoholic at the time, went missing in the […]

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Allan's Perspective

Now see here!

Posted August 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively […]

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Allan's Perspective

He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother?

Posted August 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

WELL FOLKS, THE GREAT DEBATE OVER WHAT IS POLITICALLY INCORRECT, AND WHAT IS JUST PLAIN MEAN, CONTINUES! All this stuff about what is proper, and what is NOT, is going from the ridiculous to the sublime, folks! Don’t believe me, READ ON: – – – This article was sent in to the Naked News Department! […]

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Allan's Perspective

Traffic snarl!

Posted August 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

I heard about the truck that smashed into the Burlington Skyway and threatened to close it down indefinitely, but I never realized just how bad the damage was until I got these photographs from my friend Wayne! It’s not just some minor damage and I am amazed that they could fix it as fast as […]

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Beliefs and Causes

This land is my land!

Posted August 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well folks, it looks as if there is a shaky truce between Hamas and Israel. How long it will last is anyone’s guess, but this is what we know so far: CAIRO (AP) — Israel and Hamas agreed to extend a temporary cease-fire for five days, Egyptian and Palestinian officials announced Wednesday, potentially averting renewed […]

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Allan's Perspective

Expendable! Or just past their due-date?

Posted August 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The Expendables 3, the third entry in Sylvester Stallone’s action movie old folks home which has been distracting us with its very crowded poster, comes out this weekend. The film itself looks like a shrug-worthy, gun-laden action B-movie that would barely be acknowledged if not for its ridiculous cast of action superstars, past and present, […]

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Allan's Perspective

This is not Yogi Bear!

Posted August 11, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A quick-thinking walker in Canada survived a black bear attack last week by grabbing hold of its tongue and not letting go. Gilles Cyr said: “His mouth was wide open right in front of my face so the last thing I remember I had his tongue in my hand and I didn’t want to let […]

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Allan's Perspective

Republicans finally have a cause!

Posted August 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., listens to other Senators speak on Capitol Hill in Washington, during a news conference on the violence in the Mideast. ( AP FILE PHOTO) Well folks, IT WASN’T THE FACT THAT HE IS BLACK! It wasn’t his birthplace. It wasn’t his religion. It wasn’t the economy. It wasn’t Obamacare! It wasn’t […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion: A sane and sober solution?

Posted August 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Oh, another Saturday and I’m so confused! In typical left wing fashion, the Toronto Star did a front page commentary on the situation in Gaza! Hidden deep inside the article was this one paragraph:HOWEVER, the rest of this lengthy discourse went on and on about what a bunch of shits the Israelis were! Not a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Posted August 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

ANOTHER REASON NOT TO LIVE IN WINNIPEG, KIDS! It may be the middle of summer, but in Winnipeg, a little shred of winter just won’t go away. A filthy, muddy, massive snow pile has defied the seasons and survived the summer heat at the Kenaston snow dump site on the edge of the city. The […]

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Allan's Perspective

Justin Trudeau is now a Mooslim!

Posted August 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well, the kid put his foot in it this time! Last Friday Trudeau went to prayers at a Montreal Mosque, and did the same thing I do when I go to Sunday Mass with my wife………………, ya sit down with everybody, ya stand up with everybody, bow with everybody, turn left and then right with […]

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Allan's Perspective

How do you say shit in French!

Posted August 5, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I gotta tell ya, when I read this I just COULDN’T leave it alone because this is the biggest pile of shit I have heard in years!! Parrot removed from Montreal Biodome after learning too much English! MONTREAL – The Montreal Biodome’s Scarlet macaw will be deported to the Toronto Zoo next Friday after […]

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Allan's Perspective

What an Asshole!

Posted August 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, our “Asshole of the Day!” award couldn’t go to a more deserving candidate! BRANDON, Man. – Searchers who have been trying to rescue a cat with a bird feeder stuck on its head in Manitoba say their efforts to trap the hapless animal are being sabotaged. The Brandon and Area Lost Animals group began […]

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Allan's Perspective

Tits up on the pavement!

Posted August 1, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Tits up on the pavement! (With thanks to Kelly Jay and “Crowbar!”) Yup, that’s what you would expect …………….., but the little bastard is making better time than when I did that trip many years ago! A talking robot hitchhiking its way across Canada is taking a rest in Toronto. The Hitchbot left Halifax on […]

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Allan's Perspective

Why not just kill the son-of-a-bitch!

Posted July 31, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

(Speaker Boehner and President Obama in happier times: Talking about golf. – Joshua Roberts/Reuters) Well folks, it’s getting REALLY strange down there in the good ol’ U. S. of A. To no one’s surprise, the House of Representatives has voted to approve a resolution (H. Res 676) authorizing Speaker John Boehner to sue the president […]

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Allan's Perspective

The Hitchhiker!

Posted July 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Kyle Sauvé, left, Keith Campbell and Jean-Pierre Brien pick up hitchBOT from the couple that travelled with the hitchhiking robot from Halifax to New Brunswick. The robot’s creators hope it can bum rides all the way to Victoria. A ROBOT IS HITCHHIKING ACROSS CANADA, KIDS! Bumming rides from a trio of road tripping dudes and […]

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Allan's Perspective

Now that’s progress!

Posted July 29, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Want to see how much progress we made in a century? This is a 1910 Ford automobile! (That’s only 104 years ago folks!) Show this to your friends, children and/or grandchildren! What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the Year 1910: (applies to the USA) *********************************** The average life expectancy for […]

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