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Allan's Perspective

This n’ That!

Posted April 23, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: The Washington Post hit the nail right on the head (Or did they just kick the cat?) when they published this article today! By Michelle Singletary How much is your cat’s life worth? Or your dog’s? Would you take out a credit card specifically to pay for veterinarian care for your cat? Would […]

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Allan's Perspective

Any Yoda of yours is a Yoda of mine!

Posted April 21, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Aficionado’s of online medieval manuscripts—whoever you are—may be intrigued to know about a 14th-century image of  Yoda, wide-spread ears and all, NPR reports. (That’s right kids, Yoda lived for over 900 years, so this was a drawing of him when he was middle-aged!) But is it really him? “I’d love to say that it really […]

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Allan's Perspective

What a bird brain!

Posted April 20, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Firefighters desperately trying to locate voices crying “Help” and “Fire” trapped in an inferno found the desperate pleas came from two parrots. Crews in Boise, Idaho were called to the blaze on Friday night. After arriving on the scene they heard cries of “Help” and “Fire” from inside leading them to believe several people were […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion #3966

Posted April 18, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Lots of things confusing me today bunky, including a bit of confusion about how ya can get a free meal just for being old! There are many perks of growing old — seeing your kids have kids, wearing shirts that say “World’s Best Grandma,” calling rowdy youngsters “whippersnappers” and more — and getting discounts […]

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Allan's Perspective

Having kids is hereditary!

Posted April 17, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Today we have a couple of stories from opposite ends of the spectrum that show just how crazy things are getting in this world! The Meitiv family, who is once again battling CPS in Maryland over allowing their children to go to the playground unsupervised. (Photo: Facebook) The Maryland parents investigated by Child […]

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Allan's Perspective

The French are at it again!

Posted April 14, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Your long suffering reporter fervently believes in that old axiom, “The French are the best second raters in the world” and this article does nothing to dispel that belief! A Montreal man is criticizing Quebec language laws after a clerk at a local Toys “R” Us told him he was wasn’t allowed to purchase […]

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Allan's Perspective

Eat cheese, get laid!

Posted April 14, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

O.K. folks, read the following article, and then remember ……., ya heard it here first! A survey by dating social network site Skout, cheese heads get more action. Skout surveyed a total of 4,600 people. Grilled cheese yields more sex, better people! Thirty-two percent of grilled cheese lovers reported having sex at least six times […]

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Allan's Perspective

At least it didn’t smell fishy!

Posted April 2, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

How’s THIS for an April Fools Day joke, kids! The whiff of a “Whopper “made hundreds of customers hungry for a Burger King special Wednesday — “Flame Grilled” cologne. Bottles of the fragrance were sold at the fast-food chain’s stores in Japan for 5,000 yen (about $40), including one Whopper burger. At a downtown Tokyo […]

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Allan's Perspective

Mile high, or just plain high?

Posted March 23, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Here’s someone who tried to join the “mile high” club as a solo act! A British woman was arrested on suspicion of being drunk in an aircraft after she stripped off on a flight from Jamaica – and started performing a solo SEX ACT. (Masturbation!) The 46-year-old woman from south-west London was nicked when her […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion #27,680

Posted March 21, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

Well folks, are ya confused enough yet? Then read on with these files from the Naked News Department: ————————————— Authorities in Minnesota say three would-be robbers picked the wrong time to pocket-dial 911. Blue Earth Sheriff’s Capt. Rich Murry says a dispatcher took the call early Thursday morning and heard two voices on the other […]

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Allan's Perspective

The naked and the brave!

Posted March 11, 2015 by Allan W Janssen

A 32-year-old woman told police in Florida she got naked and sat outside a Dunkin’ Donuts as a dare. The Palm Beach Post (http://pbpo.st/1EQc0sF) reports Shakara Monik Martin was arrested Sunday in Greenacres near West Palm Beach. According to a police report, Martin told authorities the dare was part of a pledge to a dance […]

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Allan's Perspective

Censorship: Oh, for shame!

Posted December 29, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Let’s get things back into Perspective here! As you may, or may not know, BlogsCanada.ca   has been engaged in an ongoing battle with Google over the issue of censorship. My views on political correctness, the government, cops, Indians, feminists, the far left, the far right, Muslims, Christian fundamentalists, the judicial system, and […]

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Allan's Perspective

What day is this?

Posted December 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: I have the same problem as Billy Pilgrim had in the novel “Slaughterhouse Five” by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. For as long as I can remember, I have been “unstuck” in time! That’s right ………, “unstuck!” By that, I mean that every morning when I wake up, I am in a different period of […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion #566

Posted December 27, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Your oft confused reporter is going to draw a comparison that might not make much sense at first glance, but upon further inspection might just start to ring a few bells! I am going to draw a comparison between cops and Islamic terrorists! Now don’t get too excited about this because I am […]

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Allan's Perspective

Santa!

Posted December 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Tomorrow night is the night, boys and girls! Just pray it’s not one of these guys …….., all of them are either pissed, demented, or just plain weird!                     And then, of course, there is our all-time favourite Santa!!!

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Allan's Perspective

And a banana for your monkey!

Posted December 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A woman with a small baby gets on an airplane and sits beside a guy who is very drunk. The drunk  looks over and says: “Jesus Christ lady, that’s the ugliest kid I ever saw!” The woman, who is outraged, calls the Stewardess and starts to loudly complain. The Stewardess, attempting to calm the situation, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Yorkville

Posted December 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: This might not be of interest to anyone not of a certain age and from Toronto, but since I practically grew up on this street it held a lot of memories for me! Posted by Chris Bateman / December 17, 2014 No neighbourhood in Toronto has undergone a more seismic aesthetic and ideological […]

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Allan's Perspective

Cosby should have kept his mouth shut!

Posted December 16, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: So  far in this whole mess surrounding Bill Cosby, the man has taken the high road and refused to comment on the allegations ………………, until this weekend, that is! Then, the sit hit the fan, and it all backfired on him! On Friday, Bill Cosby broke his silence to speak to the New […]

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Allan's Perspective

Maybe women are smarter!

Posted December 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Much as it pains me to admit this ……………..,  I might owe the ladies an apology! As you well know, your favourite reporter has ranted and raved for years about how women’s libbers, and feminists, have portrayed men as idiots. It even got to the point where a lot of  TV ads show […]

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Allan's Perspective

“ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN”

Posted December 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

OK folks, it’s now official! “ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN” During his weekly address in the Vatican on Wednesday, Pope Francis was consoling a little boy who had recently lost his #dog, assuring the boy that he and his furry friend would reunite in heaven. “One day, we will see our animals again in the […]

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Allan's Perspective

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Posted December 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Boy, do we have a conundrum with that report on the CIA that was making all that fuss yesterday! SOOOOoooooooo!   “Let’s get things back into perspective here!” Near as your ever faithful reporter can figure out ……….., these are the facts! 1. The program was started by Bill Clinton, but ya don’t hear […]

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Allan's Perspective

You can never go home again!

Posted December 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

That kid who made a terrorist video that has been making the rounds these last few days is more of a “terrorist wanna-be,” than an actual bad-ass, according to some experts in the field! However, even though his statements and claims don’t resonate with most North Americans, it’s a terrific “shot in the arm” [sic]  […]

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Allan's Perspective

Whither goes winter?

Posted December 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

“Canada winter forecast update: El Nino should keep polar vortex at bay!” Dear Readers: I looked in the local paper today, they had a long term forecast on what sort of a winter we were in for by Environment Canada, The Weather Network, AccuWeather, Old Farmers Almanac and one other,  whose name escapes me at […]

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Allan's Perspective

Gobble, Gobble!

Posted November 27, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Since it’s the American Thanksgiving long weekend, we thought you might like a rest from all the hard news! The Naked News Department scoured the Internet and came up with these gems for ya! Lots of gobble and gobbling  in Washington on Wednesday. At the White House, President Obama did the traditional thing […]

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Allan's Perspective

Let’s get things into perspective here! # 6634

Posted November 26, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

I think it’s  time for me to put my two cents worth in again, and damn the opposition! OR! As our motto says: “Let’s get things back into perspective here!” First we take you to Ferguson, where things are hopping, and guns are popping’! As any regular reader of this blog knows, your humble reporter […]

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Allan's Perspective

LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW!

Posted November 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: As you no doubt know by now, Buffalo got some early winter last week. Matter of fact, a ten mile stretch just south of the city got a whole years worth of snow in 4 days! While most areas in the neighbourhood got 2 – 3 inches of snow, this stretch was right […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #2213

Posted November 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The Male Cycle: When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Left wing -2, Common sense -0

Posted November 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Two things that are short and sweet for today’s post kids! First of all: Bill Cosby Whether he did it or not, is NOT the issue ladies and gentlemen. He has never been charged, let alone convicted of any of these allegations, but he IS being convicted int he court of public opinion. Right now […]

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Allan's Perspective

Blow Me Down!

Posted November 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Over in Alberta, and just about any other jurisdiction that has wind turbines, there is absolutely NO opposition to them! Matter of fact, everybody and his uncle are clamoring to get in on the action by placing one of these windmills on their property! SO WHY THE OPPOSITION HERE IN ONTARIO? Blame Canada  […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion #93 1/3

Posted November 1, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Catherine Butler, of Gates N.Y. makes the list of “Loser of the Day” for her confused antics last night. She was stopped by the cops around midnight for driving home from a Halloween party without her headlights on! Guess what? She was also drunk. Police charged her with DUI and confiscated her car ……., so […]

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Allan's Perspective

Asshole of the Week!

Posted October 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Despite being NDP, I had a certain amount of respect and admiration for Thomas Mulcair……., until yesterday! Even though i don’t agree with his far left leanings, (i.e. NDP) he impressed me as a politician and a leader of a political party. And then he had to go and destroy it!!!!! Mulcair came […]

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Allan's Perspective

Maybe there is a conspiracy after all!

Posted October 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I have been a conspiracy de-bunker for many years now, but there is one thing that just might be true! I’m not talking about the bullshit concerning 9/11, or aliens and UFO’s, or who killed JFK, or the moon landings! NO! What I’m talking about is 100% proof-positive, boys and girls. I’m talking about […]

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Allan's Perspective

And a banana for your monkey!

Posted October 7, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Now here’s a case straight out of “Planet of the Apes,” or perhaps a poster child for the group “people for the ethical treatment of animals!” (PETA) The case of Tommy the pet chimpanzee goes back to court this week, and a group of judges could decide whether he should be recognized as a “person” […]

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Allan's Perspective

Car 54, someone stole a balloon!

Posted October 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A balloon lifts off over the crowd in the early morning during the annual Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, N.M. Saturday, Oct. 4, 2014. Organizers have equipped all 550 pilots with tablet computers capable of running a mapping application that will enable them to steer clear of the many restricted areas or prohibited zones […]

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Activism

Saturday Morning Confusion # 88

Posted October 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

“Some men just want to watch the world burn!” Folks, I don’t know if it’s just me and I’m missing something, or perhaps there is an agenda I’m not aware of, or maybe even a point about human psychology that is foreign to me, but I’m really confused about these Islamic radicals and what they’re […]

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Allan's Perspective

“Asshole of the Day” two for one sale!

Posted October 3, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Talk about yer “Asshole of the Day,” folks. We have another two for one sale! Sometimes, a simple plan works best if you’re a criminal. And sometimes, that plan to shove $1,200 worth of meat down your pants and walk out of a supermarket undetected doesn’t end so well. Police have charged Gregory Rodriguez with […]

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Allan's Perspective

How to get smart!

Posted October 2, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We’ve all heard the phrase “knowledge is power.” The more knowledge you can acquire, the more power and ability you have to take on life’s problems. The problem, though, isn’t how much knowledge is out there, but how curious you are and how willing you are to go get it. Curiosity may have killed the […]

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Allan's Perspective

B.C. teacher suspended for prank!

Posted September 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We have a brand new “Asshole of the Day” for ya, folks. A Langley, B.C., teacher has been suspended over a homophobic prank he played on a Grade 11 student in class last year. Daniel Mark Ogloff is a metal fabrication and machining teacher at Aldergrove Community Secondary School. On Sept. 24, 2013, Ogloff wrote […]

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Allan's Perspective

O.M.G.

Posted September 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

O.M.G. kids, we had that alien with three tits in the last post………., now you tell me that this doesn’t look like the most vile, disgusting, give you nightmares and make you throw up in your hat ALIEN that you’ve ever seen! And yet it’s just a plain ol’ octopus! (So just imagine what a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Asshole of the Day!

Posted September 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A human rights lawyer is raising concern about the federal government’s plan to strip Canadian passports of those suspected of traveling abroad to join extremist groups. Citizenship and Immigration Canada has confirmed it is “revoking and refusing passports to those going abroad to take part in terrorist activities.” Lorne Waldman, the head of the Canadian […]

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