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Allan's Perspective

Yorkville

Posted December 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: This might not be of interest to anyone not of a certain age and from Toronto, but since I practically grew up on this street it held a lot of memories for me! Posted by Chris Bateman / December 17, 2014 No neighbourhood in Toronto has undergone a more seismic aesthetic and ideological […]

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Allan's Perspective

Cosby should have kept his mouth shut!

Posted December 16, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: So far in this whole mess surrounding Bill Cosby, the man has taken the high road and refused to comment on the allegations ………………, until this weekend, that is! Then, the sit hit the fan, and it all backfired on him! On Friday, Bill Cosby broke his silence to speak to the New […]

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Allan's Perspective

Maybe women are smarter!

Posted December 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Much as it pains me to admit this …………….., I might owe the ladies an apology! As you well know, your favourite reporter has ranted and raved for years about how women’s libbers, and feminists, have portrayed men as idiots. It even got to the point where a lot of TV ads show […]

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Allan's Perspective

“ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN”

Posted December 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

OK folks, it’s now official! “ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN” During his weekly address in the Vatican on Wednesday, Pope Francis was consoling a little boy who had recently lost his #dog, assuring the boy that he and his furry friend would reunite in heaven. “One day, we will see our animals again in the […]

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Allan's Perspective

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Posted December 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Boy, do we have a conundrum with that report on the CIA that was making all that fuss yesterday! SOOOOoooooooo! “Let’s get things back into perspective here!” Near as your ever faithful reporter can figure out ……….., these are the facts! 1. The program was started by Bill Clinton, but ya don’t hear […]

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Allan's Perspective

You can never go home again!

Posted December 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

That kid who made a terrorist video that has been making the rounds these last few days is more of a “terrorist wanna-be,” than an actual bad-ass, according to some experts in the field! However, even though his statements and claims don’t resonate with most North Americans, it’s a terrific “shot in the arm” [sic] […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion # 92

Posted December 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

O.K. boys and girls, it’s time for another edition of “Let’s Get Things Back Into #Perspective Here!” (God I love that word!) Since regular readers know that I live in a constant state of confusion about what’s going on in the world, they will also know that I attempt to set things straight every now […]

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Allan's Perspective

Whither goes winter?

Posted December 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

“Canada winter forecast update: El Nino should keep polar vortex at bay!” Dear Readers: I looked in the local paper today, they had a long term forecast on what sort of a winter we were in for by Environment Canada, The Weather Network, AccuWeather, Old Farmers Almanac and one other, whose name escapes me at […]

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Allan's Perspective

Gobble, Gobble!

Posted November 27, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Since it’s the American Thanksgiving long weekend, we thought you might like a rest from all the hard news! The Naked News Department scoured the Internet and came up with these gems for ya! Lots of gobble and gobbling in Washington on Wednesday. At the White House, President Obama did the traditional thing […]

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Allan's Perspective

Let’s get things into perspective here! # 6634

Posted November 26, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

I think it’s time for me to put my two cents worth in again, and damn the opposition! OR! As our motto says: “Let’s get things back into perspective here!” First we take you to Ferguson, where things are hopping, and guns are popping’! As any regular reader of this blog knows, your humble reporter […]

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Allan's Perspective

LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW!

Posted November 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: As you no doubt know by now, Buffalo got some early winter last week. Matter of fact, a ten mile stretch just south of the city got a whole years worth of snow in 4 days! While most areas in the neighbourhood got 2 – 3 inches of snow, this stretch was right […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #2213

Posted November 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The Male Cycle: When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Left wing -2, Common sense -0

Posted November 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Two things that are short and sweet for today’s post kids! First of all: Bill Cosby Whether he did it or not, is NOT the issue ladies and gentlemen. He has never been charged, let alone convicted of any of these allegations, but he IS being convicted int he court of public opinion. Right now […]

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Allan's Perspective

Blow Me Down!

Posted November 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Over in Alberta, and just about any other jurisdiction that has wind turbines, there is absolutely NO opposition to them! Matter of fact, everybody and his uncle are clamoring to get in on the action by placing one of these windmills on their property! SO WHY THE OPPOSITION HERE IN ONTARIO? Blame Canada […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion #93 1/3

Posted November 1, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Catherine Butler, of Gates N.Y. makes the list of “Loser of the Day” for her confused antics last night. She was stopped by the cops around midnight for driving home from a Halloween party without her headlights on! Guess what? She was also drunk. Police charged her with DUI and confiscated her car ……., so […]

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Allan's Perspective

Asshole of the Week!

Posted October 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Despite being NDP, I had a certain amount of respect and admiration for Thomas Mulcair……., until yesterday! Even though i don’t agree with his far left leanings, (i.e. NDP) he impressed me as a politician and a leader of a political party. And then he had to go and destroy it!!!!! Mulcair came […]

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Allan's Perspective

Maybe there is a conspiracy after all!

Posted October 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I have been a conspiracy de-bunker for many years now, but there is one thing that just might be true! I’m not talking about the bullshit concerning 9/11, or aliens and UFO’s, or who killed JFK, or the moon landings! NO! What I’m talking about is 100% proof-positive, boys and girls. I’m talking about […]

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Allan's Perspective

And a banana for your monkey!

Posted October 7, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Now here’s a case straight out of “Planet of the Apes,” or perhaps a poster child for the group “people for the ethical treatment of animals!” (PETA) The case of Tommy the pet chimpanzee goes back to court this week, and a group of judges could decide whether he should be recognized as a “person” […]

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Allan's Perspective

Car 54, someone stole a balloon!

Posted October 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A balloon lifts off over the crowd in the early morning during the annual Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, N.M. Saturday, Oct. 4, 2014. Organizers have equipped all 550 pilots with tablet computers capable of running a mapping application that will enable them to steer clear of the many restricted areas or prohibited zones […]

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Activism

Saturday Morning Confusion # 88

Posted October 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

“Some men just want to watch the world burn!” Folks, I don’t know if it’s just me and I’m missing something, or perhaps there is an agenda I’m not aware of, or maybe even a point about human psychology that is foreign to me, but I’m really confused about these Islamic radicals and what they’re […]

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Allan's Perspective

“Asshole of the Day” two for one sale!

Posted October 3, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Talk about yer “Asshole of the Day,” folks. We have another two for one sale! Sometimes, a simple plan works best if you’re a criminal. And sometimes, that plan to shove $1,200 worth of meat down your pants and walk out of a supermarket undetected doesn’t end so well. Police have charged Gregory Rodriguez with […]

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Allan's Perspective

How to get smart!

Posted October 2, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We’ve all heard the phrase “knowledge is power.” The more knowledge you can acquire, the more power and ability you have to take on life’s problems. The problem, though, isn’t how much knowledge is out there, but how curious you are and how willing you are to go get it. Curiosity may have killed the […]

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Allan's Perspective

B.C. teacher suspended for prank!

Posted September 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We have a brand new “Asshole of the Day” for ya, folks. A Langley, B.C., teacher has been suspended over a homophobic prank he played on a Grade 11 student in class last year. Daniel Mark Ogloff is a metal fabrication and machining teacher at Aldergrove Community Secondary School. On Sept. 24, 2013, Ogloff wrote […]

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Allan's Perspective

O.M.G.

Posted September 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

O.M.G. kids, we had that alien with three tits in the last post………., now you tell me that this doesn’t look like the most vile, disgusting, give you nightmares and make you throw up in your hat ALIEN that you’ve ever seen! And yet it’s just a plain ol’ octopus! (So just imagine what a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Asshole of the Day!

Posted September 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A human rights lawyer is raising concern about the federal government’s plan to strip Canadian passports of those suspected of traveling abroad to join extremist groups. Citizenship and Immigration Canada has confirmed it is “revoking and refusing passports to those going abroad to take part in terrorist activities.” Lorne Waldman, the head of the Canadian […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion about Islam?

Posted September 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, there is so much being written about Islam lately that I thought you might like to understand this religion a little better, and see why they do the things they do! (Basically the Muslim Faith was conceived in violence, and propagated in violence, so is it any wonder they do stuff like […]

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Allan's Perspective

U.S. at War again!

Posted September 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

In the past it was the “war on poverty” and the “war on drugs” etc. etc. and now the United States has gone to war again twice in one week! In a surprise move President Obama yesterday declared a “War on Ebola” and a “War on ISIS!” According to the Perspective Research Department, (see below) […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Religious News!

Posted September 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The Reason Why The Kurds Are Sending All-Women Units to Fight ISIS is AWESOME! I guess it’s sort of like a a ritualistic castration! -Ed.

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion about the five worst movies at TIFF!

Posted September 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Thanks to the folks over at “Blog TO” for giving us this heads-up about the five movies not to see at TIFF. Posted by Alexander Huls Not everything at TIFF can be great. Given the volume of movies that appear at the festival, everything being good would be statistically impossible. You’re always bound to see […]

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Allan's Perspective

Vancouver has one hell of a problem!

Posted September 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Hey kids, it must have stopped raining in Vancouver because everybody has found something else to bitch about besides the weather! Vancouver residents were only able to view a lewd Satan statue for a few hours before it was gone, but now a new petition is trying to bring it back. The three-metre tall red, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Another one “bites the dust!”

Posted September 11, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Richard Kiel is the latest Hollywood celebrity to kick the bucket, or in this case, “bites the dust!” [sic] Kiel’s most memorable stints were as villains in shows such as The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and The Wild Wild West, and in films like The Longest Yard and Silver Streak. But Kiel would ultimately be defined […]

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Allan's Perspective

Westward Ho!

Posted September 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is important! Aside from the historical aspects, the discovery of a ship from the Franklin expedition will do wonders to strengthen our claim on the ARCTIC! Yup, we were up thee rooting around, and disturbing the Eskimo’s, hundreds of years ago. Canadian explorers were looking for the North-West passage long before […]

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Allan's Perspective

Indignation and retraction!

Posted August 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well kids, the nuts have taken over the asylum again! The University of Western Ontario student newspaper “The Gazette” printed a few articles in the Frosh issue that pissed of the feminists and a bunch of other politically correct assholes, and instead of telling them to go to hell ………………………, THEY APOLOGIZED! Now I haven’t […]

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Allan's Perspective

Winnipeg makes the six o’clock news!

Posted August 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Look folks, your ever helpful reporter is getting tired about all the bitchin’ and complainin’ over how poorly we cover news from Manitoba…………………., so hopefully this will shut a few of you up! The public is advised that the railway crossing on Panet Road between Molson Street and Munroe Avenue will be closed from 8:00 […]

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Allan's Perspective

We got trouble in River City folks!

Posted August 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers; I should warn you from the get-go that this article will not be politically correct or even nice! It might even border on the racist and elitist according to some, but I am going to say things that need to be said! Ya see, these last few weeks is one of those periods […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion: Asshole of the Week!

Posted August 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Every time we give out one of our “Asshole’ trophy’s, I think to myself, “boy, it’s gonna be hard to top that one!” And then, the next thing ya know, without any warning or “how-DE-do,” along comes someone else who raises the bar to new levels of “assholeness” and blows my theory apart! […]

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Allan's Perspective

Quebec goes it alone!

Posted August 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

I assume you are all familiar with Internet domain names? For example, since this site is Canadian, our web address is BlogsCanada.ca WELL! Those pesky French didn’t like the “.ca” stuff, so starting this fall there will be a “.quebec” address as well! Good for them …………………………, stay there! ——————————————— HitchBOT left Halifax in late […]

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Allan's Perspective

First he is, then he ain’t, now he is again!

Posted August 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Though very much alive, Donald Miller Jr. is still legally a dead man … and yet now his daughters are being hit up for $47,000 in Social Security benefits they received as teens because of his death, the AP reports. It all started when Miller, a jobless alcoholic at the time, went missing in the […]

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