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Allan's Perspective

Let’s get things into perspective here! # 6634

Posted November 26, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

I think it’s time for me to put my two cents worth in again, and damn the opposition! OR! As our motto says: “Let’s get things back into perspective here!” First we take you to Ferguson, where things are hopping, and guns are popping’! As any regular reader of this blog knows, your humble reporter […]

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Allan's Perspective

LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW!

Posted November 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: As you no doubt know by now, Buffalo got some early winter last week. Matter of fact, a ten mile stretch just south of the city got a whole years worth of snow in 4 days! While most areas in the neighbourhood got 2 – 3 inches of snow, this stretch was right […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #2213

Posted November 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The Male Cycle: When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Left wing -2, Common sense -0

Posted November 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Two things that are short and sweet for today’s post kids! First of all: Bill Cosby Whether he did it or not, is NOT the issue ladies and gentlemen. He has never been charged, let alone convicted of any of these allegations, but he IS being convicted int he court of public opinion. Right now […]

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Allan's Perspective

Blow Me Down!

Posted November 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Over in Alberta, and just about any other jurisdiction that has wind turbines, there is absolutely NO opposition to them! Matter of fact, everybody and his uncle are clamoring to get in on the action by placing one of these windmills on their property! SO WHY THE OPPOSITION HERE IN ONTARIO? Blame Canada […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion #93 1/3

Posted November 1, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Catherine Butler, of Gates N.Y. makes the list of “Loser of the Day” for her confused antics last night. She was stopped by the cops around midnight for driving home from a Halloween party without her headlights on! Guess what? She was also drunk. Police charged her with DUI and confiscated her car ……., so […]

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Allan's Perspective

Asshole of the Week!

Posted October 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Despite being NDP, I had a certain amount of respect and admiration for Thomas Mulcair……., until yesterday! Even though i don’t agree with his far left leanings, (i.e. NDP) he impressed me as a politician and a leader of a political party. And then he had to go and destroy it!!!!! Mulcair came […]

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Allan's Perspective

Maybe there is a conspiracy after all!

Posted October 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I have been a conspiracy de-bunker for many years now, but there is one thing that just might be true! I’m not talking about the bullshit concerning 9/11, or aliens and UFO’s, or who killed JFK, or the moon landings! NO! What I’m talking about is 100% proof-positive, boys and girls. I’m talking about […]

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Allan's Perspective

And a banana for your monkey!

Posted October 7, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Now here’s a case straight out of “Planet of the Apes,” or perhaps a poster child for the group “people for the ethical treatment of animals!” (PETA) The case of Tommy the pet chimpanzee goes back to court this week, and a group of judges could decide whether he should be recognized as a “person” […]

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Allan's Perspective

Car 54, someone stole a balloon!

Posted October 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A balloon lifts off over the crowd in the early morning during the annual Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, N.M. Saturday, Oct. 4, 2014. Organizers have equipped all 550 pilots with tablet computers capable of running a mapping application that will enable them to steer clear of the many restricted areas or prohibited zones […]

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Activism

Saturday Morning Confusion # 88

Posted October 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

“Some men just want to watch the world burn!” Folks, I don’t know if it’s just me and I’m missing something, or perhaps there is an agenda I’m not aware of, or maybe even a point about human psychology that is foreign to me, but I’m really confused about these Islamic radicals and what they’re […]

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Allan's Perspective

“Asshole of the Day” two for one sale!

Posted October 3, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Talk about yer “Asshole of the Day,” folks. We have another two for one sale! Sometimes, a simple plan works best if you’re a criminal. And sometimes, that plan to shove $1,200 worth of meat down your pants and walk out of a supermarket undetected doesn’t end so well. Police have charged Gregory Rodriguez with […]

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Allan's Perspective

How to get smart!

Posted October 2, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We’ve all heard the phrase “knowledge is power.” The more knowledge you can acquire, the more power and ability you have to take on life’s problems. The problem, though, isn’t how much knowledge is out there, but how curious you are and how willing you are to go get it. Curiosity may have killed the […]

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Allan's Perspective

B.C. teacher suspended for prank!

Posted September 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

We have a brand new “Asshole of the Day” for ya, folks. A Langley, B.C., teacher has been suspended over a homophobic prank he played on a Grade 11 student in class last year. Daniel Mark Ogloff is a metal fabrication and machining teacher at Aldergrove Community Secondary School. On Sept. 24, 2013, Ogloff wrote […]

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Allan's Perspective

O.M.G.

Posted September 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

O.M.G. kids, we had that alien with three tits in the last post………., now you tell me that this doesn’t look like the most vile, disgusting, give you nightmares and make you throw up in your hat ALIEN that you’ve ever seen! And yet it’s just a plain ol’ octopus! (So just imagine what a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Asshole of the Day!

Posted September 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A human rights lawyer is raising concern about the federal government’s plan to strip Canadian passports of those suspected of traveling abroad to join extremist groups. Citizenship and Immigration Canada has confirmed it is “revoking and refusing passports to those going abroad to take part in terrorist activities.” Lorne Waldman, the head of the Canadian […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion about Islam?

Posted September 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, there is so much being written about Islam lately that I thought you might like to understand this religion a little better, and see why they do the things they do! (Basically the Muslim Faith was conceived in violence, and propagated in violence, so is it any wonder they do stuff like […]

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Allan's Perspective

U.S. at War again!

Posted September 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

In the past it was the “war on poverty” and the “war on drugs” etc. etc. and now the United States has gone to war again twice in one week! In a surprise move President Obama yesterday declared a “War on Ebola” and a “War on ISIS!” According to the Perspective Research Department, (see below) […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Religious News!

Posted September 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The Reason Why The Kurds Are Sending All-Women Units to Fight ISIS is AWESOME! I guess it’s sort of like a a ritualistic castration! -Ed.

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion about the five worst movies at TIFF!

Posted September 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Thanks to the folks over at “Blog TO” for giving us this heads-up about the five movies not to see at TIFF. Posted by Alexander Huls Not everything at TIFF can be great. Given the volume of movies that appear at the festival, everything being good would be statistically impossible. You’re always bound to see […]

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Allan's Perspective

Vancouver has one hell of a problem!

Posted September 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Hey kids, it must have stopped raining in Vancouver because everybody has found something else to bitch about besides the weather! Vancouver residents were only able to view a lewd Satan statue for a few hours before it was gone, but now a new petition is trying to bring it back. The three-metre tall red, […]

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Allan's Perspective

Another one “bites the dust!”

Posted September 11, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Richard Kiel is the latest Hollywood celebrity to kick the bucket, or in this case, “bites the dust!” [sic] Kiel’s most memorable stints were as villains in shows such as The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and The Wild Wild West, and in films like The Longest Yard and Silver Streak. But Kiel would ultimately be defined […]

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Allan's Perspective

Westward Ho!

Posted September 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is important! Aside from the historical aspects, the discovery of a ship from the Franklin expedition will do wonders to strengthen our claim on the ARCTIC! Yup, we were up thee rooting around, and disturbing the Eskimo’s, hundreds of years ago. Canadian explorers were looking for the North-West passage long before […]

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Allan's Perspective

Indignation and retraction!

Posted August 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well kids, the nuts have taken over the asylum again! The University of Western Ontario student newspaper “The Gazette” printed a few articles in the Frosh issue that pissed of the feminists and a bunch of other politically correct assholes, and instead of telling them to go to hell ………………………, THEY APOLOGIZED! Now I haven’t […]

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Allan's Perspective

Winnipeg makes the six o’clock news!

Posted August 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Look folks, your ever helpful reporter is getting tired about all the bitchin’ and complainin’ over how poorly we cover news from Manitoba…………………., so hopefully this will shut a few of you up! The public is advised that the railway crossing on Panet Road between Molson Street and Munroe Avenue will be closed from 8:00 […]

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Allan's Perspective

We got trouble in River City folks!

Posted August 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers; I should warn you from the get-go that this article will not be politically correct or even nice! It might even border on the racist and elitist according to some, but I am going to say things that need to be said! Ya see, these last few weeks is one of those periods […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion: Asshole of the Week!

Posted August 23, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Every time we give out one of our “Asshole’ trophy’s, I think to myself, “boy, it’s gonna be hard to top that one!” And then, the next thing ya know, without any warning or “how-DE-do,” along comes someone else who raises the bar to new levels of “assholeness” and blows my theory apart! […]

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Allan's Perspective

Quebec goes it alone!

Posted August 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

I assume you are all familiar with Internet domain names? For example, since this site is Canadian, our web address is BlogsCanada.ca WELL! Those pesky French didn’t like the “.ca” stuff, so starting this fall there will be a “.quebec” address as well! Good for them …………………………, stay there! ——————————————— HitchBOT left Halifax in late […]

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Allan's Perspective

First he is, then he ain’t, now he is again!

Posted August 19, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Though very much alive, Donald Miller Jr. is still legally a dead man … and yet now his daughters are being hit up for $47,000 in Social Security benefits they received as teens because of his death, the AP reports. It all started when Miller, a jobless alcoholic at the time, went missing in the […]

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Allan's Perspective

Now see here!

Posted August 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively […]

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Allan's Perspective

He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother?

Posted August 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

WELL FOLKS, THE GREAT DEBATE OVER WHAT IS POLITICALLY INCORRECT, AND WHAT IS JUST PLAIN MEAN, CONTINUES! All this stuff about what is proper, and what is NOT, is going from the ridiculous to the sublime, folks! Don’t believe me, READ ON: – – – This article was sent in to the Naked News Department! […]

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Allan's Perspective

Traffic snarl!

Posted August 14, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

I heard about the truck that smashed into the Burlington Skyway and threatened to close it down indefinitely, but I never realized just how bad the damage was until I got these photographs from my friend Wayne! It’s not just some minor damage and I am amazed that they could fix it as fast as […]

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Beliefs and Causes

This land is my land!

Posted August 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well folks, it looks as if there is a shaky truce between Hamas and Israel. How long it will last is anyone’s guess, but this is what we know so far: CAIRO (AP) — Israel and Hamas agreed to extend a temporary cease-fire for five days, Egyptian and Palestinian officials announced Wednesday, potentially averting renewed […]

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Allan's Perspective

Expendable! Or just past their due-date?

Posted August 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The Expendables 3, the third entry in Sylvester Stallone’s action movie old folks home which has been distracting us with its very crowded poster, comes out this weekend. The film itself looks like a shrug-worthy, gun-laden action B-movie that would barely be acknowledged if not for its ridiculous cast of action superstars, past and present, […]

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Allan's Perspective

This is not Yogi Bear!

Posted August 11, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A quick-thinking walker in Canada survived a black bear attack last week by grabbing hold of its tongue and not letting go. Gilles Cyr said: “His mouth was wide open right in front of my face so the last thing I remember I had his tongue in my hand and I didn’t want to let […]

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Allan's Perspective

Republicans finally have a cause!

Posted August 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., listens to other Senators speak on Capitol Hill in Washington, during a news conference on the violence in the Mideast. ( AP FILE PHOTO) Well folks, IT WASN’T THE FACT THAT HE IS BLACK! It wasn’t his birthplace. It wasn’t his religion. It wasn’t the economy. It wasn’t Obamacare! It wasn’t […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion: A sane and sober solution?

Posted August 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Oh, another Saturday and I’m so confused! In typical left wing fashion, the Toronto Star did a front page commentary on the situation in Gaza! Hidden deep inside the article was this one paragraph:HOWEVER, the rest of this lengthy discourse went on and on about what a bunch of shits the Israelis were! Not a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Posted August 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

ANOTHER REASON NOT TO LIVE IN WINNIPEG, KIDS! It may be the middle of summer, but in Winnipeg, a little shred of winter just won’t go away. A filthy, muddy, massive snow pile has defied the seasons and survived the summer heat at the Kenaston snow dump site on the edge of the city. The […]

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Allan's Perspective

Justin Trudeau is now a Mooslim!

Posted August 6, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well, the kid put his foot in it this time! Last Friday Trudeau went to prayers at a Montreal Mosque, and did the same thing I do when I go to Sunday Mass with my wife………………, ya sit down with everybody, ya stand up with everybody, bow with everybody, turn left and then right with […]

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Allan's Perspective

How do you say shit in French!

Posted August 5, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I gotta tell ya, when I read this I just COULDN’T leave it alone because this is the biggest pile of shit I have heard in years!! Parrot removed from Montreal Biodome after learning too much English! MONTREAL – The Montreal Biodome’s Scarlet macaw will be deported to the Toronto Zoo next Friday after […]

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