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Allan's Perspective

Nice, but not for you!

Posted July 28, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Yes kids, we are all going to hell in a hand-basket? Why a hand-basket, you ask? I have no idea, that’s just what everybody says! As you probably know by now, Comic-con was held this past weekend in San Diego, and this group of girls/women (?) showed up dressed like this! Aside from complaining that […]

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Allan's Perspective

YA CAN’T WIN FOR LOSING!

Posted July 27, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I sometimes think I’m losing my mind! Just to show you how one sided all this politically correct bullshit is ……., they held a big (free) bar-b-que for about 15,000 Rob Ford supporters on the weekend and a bunch of malcontents and agitators from the LGBT community showed up to protest Rob Ford’s alleged […]

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Allan's Perspective

Stop, BANG, or I’ll shoot!

Posted July 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well, well, just like dash cameras lessened incidents of violence during police traffic stops, so too will personal cameras on individual cops alleviate many of the problems associated with “police officers” shooting and beating on civilians …………………….., whether they deserve it or not! That, combined with the judicious use of Tasers instead of guns, will […]

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Allan's Perspective

Cougar or Pedophile?

Posted July 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

MPUMAALANGA, South Africa — At an age when most boys would be the ring bearer at a wedding, South African 9-year-old Sanele Masilela was the one walking down the aisle … to marry a 62-year-old woman for the second time. According to the South African Sunday Times, both families claim the wedding is simply a […]

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Allan's Perspective

Shark!

Posted July 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A video of a what appeared to be a bull shark swimming off of Wolfe Island in Lake Ontario has been revealed to be a marketing ploy for Discovery’s Channel’s Shark Week and its sponsor Nissan Rogue. The whole thing sounded a bit “fishy” to begin with folks, since sharks are salt water fish and […]

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Allan's Perspective

Box Office Goes Bananas for Planet of the Apes!

Posted July 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well I said I was going to see the movie ……………………….. and I did! It turned out to be exactly what I figured it would be, no more and no less, and that’s O.K. with me! —————————————- Quebec Report! Why Quebec is closed for business: La Belle Province comes close to dead last in almost […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion about what’s real, and what isn’t!

Posted July 12, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, dinosaurs don’t exist anymore. So why did Steven Spielberg kill a triceratops? Facebook fans didn’t realize that Jay Branscomb was joking when he posted a “disgraceful” photo of a “despicable man” (Namely director Steven Spielberg) posing with a poached triceratops. One Facebook commenter who was in the dark about the animal’s extinction wrote: “Disgusting! […]

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Allan's Perspective

I’m Normal!

Posted July 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

So ya say that life is getting you down! Your wife is a bitch, and your son is a clown. The mother-in-law is crazy, and last night is real hazy! Even the job is the pits, and life is the shits! There’s no money to spend, and ya don’t have a friend! IS THAT WHAT’S […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion about SEX

Posted July 5, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

(Transgender woman (?) Avery Edison has filed two human rights complaints after being detained at a male-only facility when she was stopped at Toronto’s Pearson International Airport in February, 2014.) Folks, we have a conundrum here, and your ever helpful reporter is not only going to solve it ………….., I am also going to offer […]

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Allan's Perspective

Happy Birthday!

Posted July 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

The first or the fourth, it’s all the same happy birthday folks! ——————————————- Drones have been banned from all national parks in the United States, according to new regulations established by U.S. government officials. The National Park Service (NPS), the government agency that manages the nation’s national parks, monuments and other historical sites, has outlawed […]

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Allan's Perspective

Ford the Junkie?

Posted July 3, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, all the local and national media outlets in Canada are suggesting that it’s time for Rob Ford to get out of politics ……….., but let’s face it, deep down they’re really glad he’s back! (Rob also said yesterday that he has tried a lot of different drugs, but never did heroin. Well, let’s face […]

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Allan's Perspective

Gay’s Just Don’t Know When to Quit!

Posted July 2, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, this is going to be short and sweet! While I personally have no feelings for, or against Gays, I am getting REALLY fed up with people trying to push their “Gay Agenda” on the rest of society! I stated in the past that I believe in equality for gays, and women, and kids,, and […]

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Allan's Perspective

A “view” of the future!

Posted June 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Perspective Research Department has done an extensive inquiry into the future of the “Google Glasses” and come up with a very probable scenario for these marvels of modern technology! Do ya remember Geordi’s visor on Star Trek? They will look something like that, only have what appears to be plain glass […]

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Allan's Perspective

To hell with pipelines, let’s transport by rail!

Posted June 29, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Public interest in what is trundling by rail past their homes has ignited in the wake of the July 6, 2013, derailment in Lac-Megantic, Que., when a runaway oil train skipped the tracks and exploded, killing 47 people. That’s right folks, we need to keep the Environmentalists happy! Let’s not build any more pipelines ………………………., […]

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Allan's Perspective

Rob Ford Endorsed by Charlie Sheen?

Posted June 27, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

How’s this for a vote of confidence, kids? Mayor Rob Ford is as “tough as nails” and can overcome his substance abuse problems, says one of Hollywood’s well-known bad boys. “He’s the mayor, he got that far,” Charlie Sheen said Thursday night as he walked the red carpet for Joe Carter’s annual star-studded charity event. […]

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Allan's Perspective

Ya can’t get there from here!

Posted June 26, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Do you remember that TV commercial where a guy is trying to give directions to someplace or other, and after several attempts he scratches his head and says: “Ya can’t get there from here!” Funny eh? NO! It happened to me in real life today! The main intersection of downtown Byron, (which is a small […]

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Allan's Perspective

Asshole of the Day! #244

Posted June 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, ya just can’t have it both ways, or all-ways, or always, or everything all at once! Or, as Stephen Wright says: “Ya can’t have everything ….., where would ya put it?” Which brings me to today’s :”Asshole of the Day!” First let me tell ya that London, Ontario has a high unemployment rate due […]

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Allan's Perspective

Why evolution has it rough in the States!

Posted June 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: If you ever wondered why the Unites States is going to hell in a hand basket……………., this might help explain it! This exchange between Bill Maher and Mark Pryor, the Democratic Senator from Arkansas, appeared on 9gag.com. You can watch the extract, which was recorded in 2009, here, and the full interview here. Make sure […]

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Allan's Perspective

Kardashian speak with forked tongue!

Posted June 24, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Your ever humble, and much maligned reporter weeps for society! POLITICAL CORRECTNESS has gripped our land and the nuts are running the show kids! Reality TV star Khloe Kardashian has sparked outrage online after sporting a traditional Native American headdress to her niece’s lavish birthday bash.Listen boys and girls, if some asshole can […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #93

Posted June 22, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion: Pius or Queer?

Posted June 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I’m terribly confused and conflicted this morning! During the past week I have been bombarded by Islamic ideology and learned how certain groups are hell bent on converting everyone to Islam, and making them good little Muslims. I’ve been told that ‘Sharia’ will be the future ‘rule of law’ for both Muslims and non-Muslims […]

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Allan's Perspective

Dick Cheney is a real Dick!

Posted June 20, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, I have said many times in the past that Dick Cheney is one person who who actually scares me! I can’t say he is totally evil since I don’t believe in the devil, but there is something fundamentally NASTY about him! And, after the disasters he got the United States into during Bush’s term, […]

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Allan's Perspective

U.S. Invades Victoria!

Posted June 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Victoria has a lot of tourists this weekend thanks to a visit from one of the world’s largest warships. The USS Nimitz is anchored near the Canadian navy base in Esquimalt near B.C.’s capital. The Nimitz is stopping in Victoria this weekend before conducting trials and testing at the Canadian military’s test range […]

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Allan's Perspective

“Asshole of the Day” #42

Posted June 11, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A man accused of killing his ex-girlfriend, carving up her body and scattering her remains around the Toronto area told a court on Tuesday that it was actually his mother who stabbed the woman to death. Jiang didn’t call police or an ambulance after the gruesome incident that took place in the basement of his […]

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Allan's Perspective

Today you voted?

Posted June 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well folks, since the Ontario election is just two days away, I thought it was a good time for this story! While walking down the street one day a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. ‘Welcome […]

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I’m sorry Dave, but I cannot allow you to jepardize the mission!

Posted June 9, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Yesterday, at a University of Reading demonstration in London, a computer convinced human judges that it was actually a 13-year-old Ukrainian boy. By convincing one-third of the judging panel of its humanity, it became the computer ever to pass the famous Turing Test. ` The Turing Test is a controversial test invented by Alan Turing […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies # 22

Posted June 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

————-The Job Interview An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them one question and their answer would determine who would get the […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion does cartwheels!

Posted June 7, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Your ever curious reporter is confused about why she would ever do this in the first place? We have changed, and hidden, the names and addresses of those involved, so that we don’t unnecessarily embarrass anyone, but just the same it’s a pretty strange story folks! A ******** woman will have to keep […]

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Allan's Perspective

This is not politically correct!

Posted June 4, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Dear Readers: Your long suffering reporter has often said that the entire “politically correct” crowd is nuts, and most of their ideas are insane. That’s right, not weird, or mis-guided, or min-informed, but just plain nuts! Here is why folks! The politically correct folks are going to have their knickers in a knot over this […]

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Allan's Perspective

AH, SHIT!

Posted June 2, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

NOW HERE’S SOMETHING YA DON’T SEE EVERYDAY KIDS! A cross-country fight had to make an unscheduled landing when a service dog pooped twice in the aisle, sickening passengers with the odor. US Airways spokesman Andrew Christie said the May 28 US Airways flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia had to make an unscheduled stop in […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion: Carey / Carney (?) to quit!

Posted May 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Carey / Carney to quit! Folks, we have received a report here at the Blogs Canada Research Center, and the Perspective Naked News Department, that either Jim Carey, or Jim Carney, is about to quit. Because of poor communication, and computer problems, we don’t know if Jim is quitting the movie business, or politics ………….! […]

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Allan's Perspective

Always tell the truth!

Posted May 30, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, my mother once told me ya could never get in trouble for telling the truth! Now, I don’t know if that’s 100% true because I once told a woman she had a really nice ass……………, and she slapped me (Although I did end up on a date with her ……., but unfortunately ya can’t […]

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Allan's Perspective

Sunday Morning Funnies #83

Posted May 25, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

WHEN I SAY I’M BROKE – I’M BROKE! A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day; to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. ‘Good morning,’ said the young man. ‘If I could take a couple minutes of your time. I would like to demonstrate the very […]

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Allan's Perspective

SUPER HERO SEND-OFF!

Posted May 21, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

A five-year-old boy in Indiana who died of a rare form of brain cancer was given a superheroes sendoff with pallbearers dressed as his favourite comic book characters. The little boy from Kentland died of an aggressive form of brain cancer on May 8, and his mom, Staci Denton, decided to give him a sendoff […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion: The Naked Truth!

Posted May 17, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Seems the politically correct crowd has raised another bullshit issue that has me more confused on this Saturday morning than ever before! A bunch of kindergarten kids were out in the yard playing and they got into some water and proceeded to get soaking wet! (These are 4 and 5 year old kids, folks!) Rather […]

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Allan's Perspective

Cry Fowl in Pictou!

Posted May 15, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

NOVA SCOTIA REPORT! Folks, as soon as we got this report, I instructed the Perspective Research Department to send a squad of reporters down to Pictou and let us know what’s gong on with this suspected genocide of some of our fowl friends! The Town of Pictou’s efforts to clean up for next week’s royal […]

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Allan's Perspective

Do we live in a police state? God damned right we do!

Posted May 13, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

OK folks, here’s the scene: The engineer in charge of that train in blew up in Lac-Megantic last year has been charged! BUT! That’s not the reason for this article bunky! OH NO! NOW! HERE’S THE RUB, KIDS, AND WHY THESE COPS ARE OUR “ASSHOLES OF THE DAY!” The train engineer knew the cops were […]

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Allan's Perspective

Saturday Morning Confusion #59

Posted May 10, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Well, here’s some news I never expected! For years we have been told that the great majority of Canadians live in a thin line along the U.S. border! (Within about a hundred miles – one hundred and sixty kilometers!) Now take a look at where 54% of the U.S. population lives! ———————————————————— Folks, I don’t […]

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Allan's Perspective

DUCK!

Posted May 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Most of us were blissfully unaware, but a huge asteroid the size of a double-decker bus careered past the Earth over the weekend. The space rock flew within 186,000 miles of the planet after being spotted by astronomers a few days before. While the distance from the planet might seem big, the asteroid in fact […]

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Allan's Perspective

Ya can’t fix stupid!

Posted May 8, 2014 by Allan W Janssen

Folks, what people believe, and what the truth of the matter is, can very often be two different things! Here are some examples of just how ridiculous beliefs can be! Those Boko Haram Islamists believe that a round earth is a Western conspiracy………., as is evolution, immunizations, and Western education. (Including the fact that rain […]

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